Necessity, Destiny, Fate
by shewholiesinshadwoandlight
Summary: The PTB had never meant for things to go so wrong. Their Slayer was broken, her Champion gone, her friends scattered. But when Buffy is given a chance to go back and change her fate will she succeed? Will she manage to win all the battles she had already conquered when she decides to chose not a man cursed with a soul but the man that fought for one? For her?
1. 1- Chance

_"Bottom line is even if you see 'em coming, you're not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does. So what, are we helpless? Puppets? No. The big moments are gonna come, can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find out who you are. You'll see what I mean."_

_ -Whistler_

Chapter 1-

Every moment was a knife wound, twisting deep inside where she could not believe a person could hurt so much. As she danced around her enemies, taunting, laughing, her eyes bright, inside she could feel herself dying. She knew what the fallen Slayers had known, she finally understood the weight of all that she was, all she had become. A Slayer had a death wish, he had told her that once, and thought she was the strongest, the one to live the longest, the one that had finally beat the odds, although she had family and friends the ties that had held her life in check had unravelled. Because he was dead. She remembered that one night when they had just held each other, his cold body pressed against her warmth. Heating him, heating her, comforting safe. She remembered the look in his eyes, the love, when he told her it was the best night of his life.

Ashes drift lazily around her as her smile evens out. Here was the Slayer, in all her glory, beautiful, aching, strong, dead. Her green eyes held no light, there was nothing there, no spark, no fire. Even as she had danced she had been incomplete, her partner gone, her heart shattered. Buffy took in a steadying breath, pushing against her pain, feeling that knife twist just a bit deeper. SHe understood what was going to happen soon, too soon. One day she'd see an opening for a kick and not take it, down a foe and hesitate, there would be a single miscalculation, a single moment where she just couldn't do it anymore and the monsters would finally get her. It was hard to care.

She wasn't sure when she'd started moving, unsure as to why her body wanted to move at all but accepting it regardless. Her mind was on other things, things more important than her bare little apartment her feet moved her to. Her mind was on Spike, wasn't it always? She'd never wanted the destiny thrust upon her, had fought it every step of the way, got lucky, saved the world, made big mistakes. Angel. How could she have ever loved Angel? The vampire had been mysterious, true, and handsome but he had been so...so...USELESS. He never fought with her, not really, he's only ever wanted to keep her safe. To let her be normal. He's hurt her so much more than she'd ever realized.

But Spike...He'd been a thorn in her side. Never letting her forget who she was, why she was. He pushed her, insulted her, tested her, fought for her, fought with her. Spike had never wanted her to be normal, he'd wanted her to be what he always knew she could be. A hell of a woman. The thought brought a broken sob, her hand slamming up to stop it, to hide it, as her other hand fumbled with the keys. Seconds, like hours, and she pushed through the door, running to the bathroom. Head instantly over the toilet as her stomach heaved what little contents had been in it. The tears welled in her eyes, refusing to fall. After a few moments she clawed her way up from the ground.

"Are you well Slayer?"

The soft voice made Buffy's eyes widen in alarm. It was old, ancient, but somehow young. Soft, lilting, strong. inanely female. Turning, slowly because why not? If she was a demon, or vampire, or new bringer of the apocalypse she was to tired to fight it. Oh she'd try, sure, but she wouldn't win another fight. Not now, maybe not ever again. Green eyes took in the sparse room, wishing she'd taken the time to grab a weapon before she'd tossed her guts. The woman that stood before her was...fuzzy. One second she seemed young, innocent the next she was more refined, beautiful then in a blink she was old, powerful. Buffy couldn't seem to get the ever-changing face in focus, only the bright moonlight eyes stayed still. She was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen and Buffy found her mouth opening against her will. In awe or in an attempt to speak she wasn't sure.

The strange woman smiled, kindly, indulgently. Buffy abruptly realized that she hadn't answered the question posed to her. Snapping her mouth shut she struggled to come up with a suitable answer. But really what could she say? I make myself sick? It was the truth. When she looked back at her life, the ups and downs, all her regrets, her actions made her physically ill. She'd hurt him so much and still...He'd always forgiven her, always been there for her, always loved her. Green eyes clenched shut, the sound that came from her mouth was almost inhuman. It was so broken, the sound of a being that has understood that every bad thing that had ever happened to her had, indeed, been her own fault.

"No."

Startled by her own voice Buffy raised her hand to cover her eyes, the tears spilling freely, knees buckling. The stranger caught her before she fell, the warmth of the embrace surprised more sobs from her shaking form. For a long time Buffy just lay there, awareness creeping in slowly through the heart wrenching sobs. The strangers fingers ran gently through her hair, humming a soft sad song, calming her. When she'd cried all she thought she could Buffy leaned out of the embrace, surprised by the soft tears running down the strangers face.

"Who are you?"

"My name is Ananke."

The name sounded vaguely familiar, a tickle across her brain nut that was all. Buffy shook her head gently. Ananke smiled, face changing faster and faster and Buffy found herself drawn to her eyes again.

"I am destiny, necessity, fate."

Understanding dawned Buffy pushed herself away, "You're one of the PTB."

Ananke chuckled softly as she stood, the sound fluttering through the air. Gently she placed a hand against Buffy's cheek, stilling her with a touch.

"We have wronged you Slayer. We have taken from you everything but it had to be done. It was meant to be done. It was necessary."

"Necessary!?" Buffy whispered fiercely, wrenching away again Buffy growled fiercely.

"Necessary? Was it necessary? Was it necessary for it to be me? Necessary for me to lose myself to Angel, to bring back Angelus? to let my mom die? To bring me Spike? Was it necessary to make me hate him? To hurt him over and over again? To watch him die never believing in my love? How could that be necessary?" Tears spilled over, angry bitter tears.

Ananke saw them and stilled. The face settling on one of a woman in her early thirties, delicate and fierce. Achingly beautiful, obviously inhuman.

"It was Necessary because the battles you have won had to be won. And this was the only guarantee we had to ensure that. We wronged you Slayer because it could only be you, because your journey has only just begun."

"I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE!" Buffy snarled, chest heaving, agony ripping her tattered soul to shreds. Ananke raised a hand, stilled her with a look.

"You will, you must, because now that the battle has been assured our victory we must do it again. You must do it again. You must do it RIGHT this time."

"Wha-? What? What are you taking about? I'm not doing it again. Why can't you just leave me alone? Why can't I just go to be with him? Why me?"

Ananke smiled once more, harsher, fiercer. Crossing the distance in an instant, arms pulling the Slayer against her securely. Buffy struggled, futily, for long minutes. Cursing into the silence until her anger settled like a vice against her heart. Ananke sighed softly, cheek resting against the blond locks.

"It was your destiny to suffer all you could because you are our greatest, our most precious creation. You have within you the power, the will, that none before you have held. A power strong enough to accept a life you never wanted, a will of such strength that even now, when you are broken beyond repair, you struggle to do your duty."

Buffy hung her hands to her side, done. Tired of fighting, tired of destiny, the last glimmers of all that made her who she was slowly flickering out. In answer to this Ananke pulled her at arms length, locking moonlight eyes with green and smiling brilliantly.

"But this was not your fate Slayer." The words were gentle, the few glimmers standing still in time.

"What do you mean?"

"I am here to right the wrong. You have done so much, and there is still so much to do. I will send you back, your heart, your mind, your memories. To be merged with the you of the time before."

Buffy's eyes flickered, brightened.

"What are you saying?"

"I will give you the chance for the fate that was always meant to be yours. It will be difficult, you can not change everything, they will happen no matter what you do, some thing MUST happen and some things need never happen."

"I can go back?" It was a whisper in the stagnant room. Filled with reluctant hope.

"Yes."

"Why? How?" Suspicion warred with Hope but Buffy paid it no mind. Something was happening here, something she thought she'd never have.

"Because you deserved better." Now Anankes voice was almost fierce, fingers tensing in anger. Sighing softly Ananke turned sad eyes to the Slayer. "I made him for you and you for him. My greatest creations but when the others found what I had done, the potential, they sought to guide you onto a better path. They did not watch, they did not see, but I am fate and I knew and I saw."

"How?"

"You will be returned, into the past, your memories fusing with your younger self. Some things will be missing, some things will be fuzzy, and this conversation will never return. It is all I can do without destroying everything you sacrificed yourself for. However it will be enough to give you what was taken from you before."

"Take-?"

"Choice. I will give you choice and the knowledge of what consequences come with those choices."

"Spike..." Buffy muttered softly, a soft click echoing in her head, "You're giving me the chance to choose Spike?"

Ananke said nothing, giving instead an almost imperceptible nod. Buffy sucked in a sharp breath, green eyes blazing.

"Do it." She commanded desperately. Ananke raised a hand, halting her.

"There are no guarantees. You will not be the you you are now, nor will you be the you that you were then. It will not be easy, there will be struggle, you will feel pain again. It is possible that this changes nothing, can you accept that?"

But I get to see him again. That was all she could thing of, all she could see. She'd do it over and over again, a hundred, no a thousand times if it meant she could see him again. If it meant that there was a chance, no matter how small, that she could tell him one more time. Selfish it might be but she just wanted to tell him, had to tell him, that she loved him. Make him believe it even if he didn't care.

"I can do it." The voice was no longer dead, Buffy felt the rush of life flow through her. Determination etched into ever feature. "Just tell me how."

Anankes face began to shift again, moonlight eyes abruptly turning red, like the splash of fresh blood against white stones.

"All you have to do...Is die."

The knife wrenched, a real one. The pain exploded around her, her body slumped over in pain, her eyes searched the ground unseeing. Then darkness.

* * *

Buffy Summers woke up, a scream lodged in her throat. Gasping, hands rushing to her stomach where a phantom pain lingered. It took nearly five minutes to calm herself. To make her racing heart slow and pull herself out of whatever dream she'd been having. Easing herself upwards, hand placed against her head, she gazed around the room.

"Come on Buffy, it's ok. Relax."

It had only been a few weeks since she'd found out her destiny as a Slayer. The former cheerleader had been on a roller coaster of denial, shock, and anger for all that time. She was fifteen years old, she was suppose to be dealing with boys, bitchy friends, school not killing monsters. Grumbling in agitation she turned on the light and turned towards the door. She found herself stopping, though, when she caught her image in the mirror situated on the back of her door. Frowning Buffy moved closer, inspecting herself critically. Nothing had changed since she had gone to sleep not five hours ago. Frowning she gazed at her eyes, seeing her own blue eyes reflected back at her. There! What was that?

Reflection Buffys eyes were older somehow, almost bitter, but determined. Buffy gave a soft gasp and pulled herself away but it was too late. In an instant she felt herself fall backwards, thankfully onto her bed because otherwise that would've hurt. It was like a dream, but not a dream. Images, pictures, voices, faces. Round and round, slamming into her again and again. She felt her mind fight it, try to push away this intruder. It was a vicious battle, both sides evenly matched. Then a voice whispered from the darkness. Something she'd never heard before. Honest. The voice was honest in a way no one had ever been with her. Caring, brutal, kind, resilient. The voice of someone who cared, who loved. Buffys eyes teared up.

_You listen to me. I've been alive a bit longer than you, and dead a lot longer than that. I've seen things you couldn't imagine, and done things I prefer you didn't. Don't exactly have a reputation for being a thinker. I've only my blood, which doesn't exactly rush in the direction of my brain, so I make a lot of mistakes, a lot of wrong, bloody calls. A hundred plus years, and there's only one thing I've ever been sure of - you. Hey, look at me. I'm not asking you for anything. When I say I love you, it's not because I want you, or because I can't have you, and it has nothing to do with me. I love what you are. What you do. How you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you, and I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You are a hell of a woman. You're the one, Buffy_

Who? Whose voice? How did she-? The pain was coming on faster now and with it more words, more whispers. But who? That voice who did it belong to? Her body spasmed.

_Hair, peroxide blond, glinting under moonlight._

She felt as if her body was on fire.

_A dark, hungry look flashing behind ancient blue eyes._

She wanted to cry out but couldn't, the pain was too much.

_"Hey Buffster"_

_"Buffy"_

_"Slayer"_

_"Hey B."_

_"Goldilocks."_

So many, there were so many. And when she couldn't stand it anymore, when she felt that the fight would destroy her she saw him. _He was standing proud, strong, surrounded by struggling combatants. His blue eyes were locked on hers, her heart was still in her chest. Her hand reached for his, closed._

_" I love you." She felt herself whisper, begging him to believe, to understand, to not DO this._

_He smiled at her, so full of life but so sad. So broken. His eyes sparkled, hand tightened._

_"No you don't. Bu thanks for saying it."_

_Burned. Gone._ NO!

"SPIKE!" The cry was wretched from the deepest part of her heart, from the very fabric of her soul. In an instant she accepted, the pain receding. She let the memories come. Some of things she had done, most of things she would do. Of who she would meet, what she had to do, what she could change. Consciousness left her as the memories dove into her but over the din, through every image and face of loved ones yet to come, battles yet to be fought, friends in need of saving, she could hear him whispering against her heart. She could feel him holding her, grounding her into place.

_"I love you."_ His voice whispered, caressed her.

_"I love you."_

* * *

**This is my first attempt at a Buffy/Spike romance. Please review, let me know how I did and if you think it's worth continuing.**

**Thank you for your time.**


	2. 2- Beginning

_"We don't know if you're actually better. I mean, you came into the world with certain advantages, sure. I mean, that's the legacy.: But you didn't earn it. You didn't work for it. You've never had anybody come up to you and say you deserve these things more than anyone else. They were just handed to you. So that doesn't make you better than us. It makes you luckier than us."_

_-Anya_

Chapter 2

Sunnydale. She had nearly jumped when she had heard the name. Her mother had told her they were moving, away from L.A. and all the problems. After The Night (as she called it now) she had adamantly refused to say vampires had been the reason she had burned down the gym. Instead she concocted some story that made her out to be a ditsy blond going through a 'phase'. She'd gotten off with community service, it hadn't saved her parents marriage. Part of that was her fault, she knew. She spent her days picking up trash around the city, going to the library and drowning herself in books that spanned the occult, mythology, and anything that seemed even the slightest bit supernatural or otherworldly. At night she watched various martial art videos and researched new ways to fight until her parents went to sleep, then she'd sneak out of her room, run to the park not far from her home and trained herself. Struggled to incorporate everything she had learned. Dusted vamps when they got in her way. The change was enough to drive her father away, she was almost glad. If her dreams were any indication they were better off without him. Even if it broke her mothers heart. But her mother had forced herself to bounce back, enough at least to make the decision that would set Buffy on her chosen path.

When she had woken up that next morning, after the memories that had slammed into her finally ended, she had not paused to assess what had happened. Had not stopped to think maybe it had all been a dream. No she had woken up with a sense of urgency, desperation propelling her from her bed and scrambling for a discarded notebook. Ripping the pages that had been used, not many because really no one ever actually did anything in study hall, she put pen to paper and let herself write. It read like a cross of a book and a diary. She spent three hours like that, ignoring the painful cramp in her hands, until she was finished. Until everything she had dreamt was safely stored in six of the seven notebooks she had manged to scrounge up. Another two hours was spent reading over what she had written, trying to make herself remember things that hadn't yet happened but seemed branded on her soul. She should have been scared, angry, petulant. A week ago she would have been, hell the night before she would have been but not now. She wasn't sure what was going on, why or even how. She knew that there were gaps in the memories that had assailed her, jagged puzzle pieces that left the picture glaringly incomplete. Not that it mattered to her. She knew enough, just enough she hoped to give her what she wanted.

To some extent she knew what had happened. Understood that the memories she now had seared in her mind were not hers, not really, but of a version of herself that had already lived. Had already made her decisions and reaped the rewards for her mistake. She looked upon those memories and felt shamed. She was such a BITCH. But hadn't she always been? Even before the Slayer stuff? The memories had given her focus, purpose. She couldn't wait, could hardly contain herself. She ached for the friends she was destined to make. She missed Willows shy determination, Xaviers unending faith, Giles calm guidance. She missed Angels cryptic warnings, Anyas cautious restraint, Taras soft assurance. She missed Spikes laugh. And therein lay the rub. She didn't know these people. Didn't owe them anything. If she had wanted to she could have told her mother that Sunnydale wasn't where she wanted to go. She could have avoided her destiny all-together but that was a childs decision. To run away before you were shackled in place. And it was so very tempting because if she didn't go there now someone else would, she was certain that whether she was there or not nothing would change. Someone would take up the mantle but could they do it as well as her? Could they love them and appreciate them as much as she was now sure she could? Could they forgive Angel his shortcomings? Could they love Spike like she had never given herself the chance to?

The fear destroyed temptation. That anyone, ANYONE, could take Spikes love from her was a punch in the gut. Oh she didn't know everything, couldn't remember everything, but she knew from the moment his voice had broken through the haze of memories. She knew when the pain had stilled long enough for her to see him, staring at her, blue eyes free for her to read, when she heard him tell her that he loved her. The decision cemented when she had watched him turn to ash in the sun. She didn't know who he was, who any of them were, not really. And she knew it would be a struggle but she wanted a chance. A chance to touch something so bright, a chance to learn the dance. With him. If in the end he chose another she'd be content in the knowledge that she had done all she could, that he was happy and alive and THERE even if he wasn't there with her. So she had told her mother "Yes. Sunnydale it is" and she had trained. In part for preparation of all the battles to come but, mostly, because she wanted to impress him. She wanted him to see that she was his match, from the beginning, his partner like no one else could ever be.

A week before the start of school she found herself in an oddly familiar home, recognizing it from The Night. Unlike her dreams the house was devoid of life, empty and waiting for them. The walk to the room that would be hers was both familiar and new. The constant dejavu almost disorienting. It took her two days to unpack everything, slowly arranging everything until the dream and the reality were one and the same. In the time before school began she used her fathers guilt money to get herself some much needed supplies. Books, movies, talismans, whatever she could find. Not to mention a new wardrobe. _Hey _she had reasoned _I am fifteen even if_, _since the night I don't feel fifteen_. It was true. Oh she was still Buffy. She still whined and pouted, still raged, but she understood consequence now. She understood just how much her decisions could change the world around her, she refused to believe it was a dream. That **he** was a dream. She had a focus to her, the set of her shoulders showing unfailing confidence, eyes hooded with knowledge, tough, feminine, mature. It didn't matter if she couldn't have him, so long as he and the rest of the world could continue on she would be happy. But...She really wanted him.

Now it was the night before, school would start come morning and Buffy was studying the two outfits she had picked out carefully. The first- long black boots, a cute red skirt reaching just under mid thigh, a white halter top that ended just above her belly button and a white short-sleeved jacket. _Cute, simple, childish. _Buffy shook her head, worrying at her lower lip as she considered outfit number two. Tight blue jeans that defined her long, toned legs, a black shirt hugged her curves, held together by nothing more than a clip at the neck and a loose knot at her waist, leaving her back bare. She opted for a pair of closed in heels that gave a few extra inches. _If I keep the make-up light...Yes this is perfect._ Decision made Buffy returned the other outfit to her closet, easing her chosen wardrobe over the back of her chair. Sighing softly she allowed herself to fall into bed, picking up one of the notebooks (aka Everything I Need To Know To **Not** Fuck Up My Life) and began to read until, hours later, she drifted off to sleep.

* * *

"I can't **see** Willy!? It's **dark**!" The voice cracked like a whip in the silence. Not that the voice was especially forceful. It was, in fact, little more than a whisper. It was the obvious insanity that lent the voice such power. You cold hear it , like a scuffling above your head in the dark. It itched. Part of him relished it. The part of him that wanted, that **needed** someone, anyone, to need him. Druisilla had always needed him, even when he'd been human he'd known that. She had needed something to keep her tentative hold on sanity from eroding. He was her Champion, it made him feel good. Powerful. Invincible. Even if he knew it was a lie, even if he knew she could never need him like he needed her. A hundred and twenty years were invested in her though and he couldn't bring himself to leave her. Hence the reason he immediately stopped feeding, breaking his victims neck in one quick twitch of his fingers. A pity.

Strong, pale hands reached for the ethereal brunette who stood absolutely still, her face frozen in confusion. She allowed herself to be drawn against him, allowed him to soothe her even as the glimpses of the future twisted, changed. She'd never seen anything like it. It was as if, somehow, the world had been reset. A blanket of fresh snow. Her companion whispered softly to her, the words just noise to her ears.

"What's dark baby?"

"I can't see her. The Slayer. Kill her for me Spike. Kill her now. For me?"

Slayer? He hadn't realized another one had popped up. Another notch in his belt? Blue eyes twinkled in adoration, his grip on her tightened imperceptibly as he leaned into her. Her mouth rose for his, swerving away at the last moment so that his lips just barely grazed her cheek.'

"It's done princess." He answered, laughter hiding the usual hurt.

"Kill her for princess?" She whispered big eyes rounding on her companion, as if unsure if he could pull it off. He snickered and shot her a predatory smirk.

"I'll chop her into messes."

* * *

It was so familiar. It was so strange.

If she had had any doubt about the validity of The Night here in front of her was indisputable proof that she was not, in fact, crazy. It was her school and she knew nothing about it. She could probably find her way blind. After saying a rushed goodbye to her mother, as she exited the car, she had stood there for a full minute. Just allowing herself to adjust to the oddness of it all. Squaring her shoulder she made her way up the steps and through the hall, unaware of the endless appreciative male glances shot her way. Navigating the halls as if she'd been there all her life gave her a mild sense of deja vu, something she shook away as she spotted her goal. The library. Buffy almost couldn't stop the grin threatening to spread across her face. She knew who was in there, she knew why, and she couldn't wait to throw him for a loop. From what she knew Rupert Giles had taken years to learn to lighten up, with good reason, but she had decided, in consideration to what knowledge she'd gleaned from wherever the memories had come, that things would progress much more smoothly if she started as she meant to go on. As equals. She may have been destined to save the world, but she hadn't done it before. Had never considered that, perhaps, they deserved it more than she did.

When she walked through the door he was bent over a table, eyes skimming over the book laying atop it. Another book was clutched in his hand, opened to some page with what looked like a crude drawing of a demon visible to her. Smirking mischievously she pushed the door closed with more strength than strictly necessary. The resulting bang made the older man turn so fast Buffy suspected he'd given himself whiplash. For a few moments they just stared at each other. Older English gentleman and young teenage girl. Her eyes twinkled merrily, the green speckled across the hazel depths glimmered. Taking a step forward, before the older man could gain his bearings, she stretched out her hand.

"Hi I'm Buffy."

It took him a minute, mouth opening and closing in an attempt to say something. When he realized, with dawning horror, that he was being inexplicably rude to the girl he returned the gesture. When she offered him a quick smile something clicked into place. He found himself frowning down at her, unsure if she was here for something scholastic or for the same reasons as himself. At his frown Buffy shook her head and held out her hand, palm up, one eyebrow arching in question.

"Oh my apologies, terribly rude of me. I am Mr. Giles, Librarian."

She just stared at him, her hand shaking as if waiting for him to hand her something.

"Ca-Can I help you?"

_Ok so totally not entirely 100% up there right now. Fine. _Sighing in exasperation, and amusement, she pointed at him. Speaking carefully, clearly, slowly. This often times worked or it had, would? _Just don't think about it Summers._

"You Watcher." Words weighed. She proceeded to point at herself, "Me Slayer. Capish?"

"I'm sorry?" He was confused. Oh he knew what she way, had taken only a few moments in her presence to recognize the power in her. He had only seen it once before in her predecessor, India. It was the way she moved, like a predator. She hid it well enough, he supposed, but it was there. He simply hadn't expected her to know who or what he was. Not right away.

"I need the handbook." She stated clearly, accentuating each word. Her hand still opened in front of them both, waiting. He hadn't been prepared for this. From what he had been told she had been chosen, seemingly at random, by the PTB and the Watcher before him had only spent a brief time with her before he had expired. Not enough, certainly not enough to give her any real information. Yet here she stood, waiting. Eyes widening he fumbled with the book in his hand, settling it alongside the other on the table with barely a backwards glance.

"How did you-"

"Merrick told me a little, not much but a little."

"Ah yes, of course. I apologize Miss Summers."

She held out a hand to stop him, even as he turned away from her to search beneath his desk.

"Just Buffy, please."

Rising he offered her an almost pained smile, "Yes, of course, Buffy. I believe this belongs to you." The large, heavy, ancient book placed before her was intimidating. He had half expected her to take one look at it and turn away. Part of him was already pegging her as a young woman that ran from books instead of reading them. He was surprised, and more than a little relieved, when she hefted it in her arms and clutched it close. After a moment of silence she sighed again and laid the book back down to the desk.

"Miss- Uh Buffy.." He trailed off unsure. Buffy chuckled lightly and gently slapped his shoulder, "Don't worry Giles." The name slid from her mouth easily, making it sound familiar. Made it sound as if she'd known him her whole life, he didn't catch it then. His own stuttering mind still trying to grasp that his appointed Slayer had simply walked in, introduced herself, and demanded the book that was, by rights, hers. He had thought it would be harder than that. Then, of course she had put the book back down. She must have sensed his confusion because she shook her head gently.

"I'll be back once school ends, if it's not a problem?"

"Oh?" Flustered, "Yes, yes, that would be...acceptable. Thank you." A rather endearing, if awkward, smile flashed across his features. Buffy took a step back, "Well, see ya later Giles." She offered a quick wave and left the room, and a rather flabbergasted Watcher, behind.

**Thank you all for your reviews. I'm glad that i've got so many of you interested so quickly, i'll try to live up the expectations. However just keep in mind that the series is AU and there will be quite a few OC moments however I will stay as true to the series as I can. Please R/R and, also, I do not own Buffy or any of its other characters, places, plot lines, etc... Didn't like the last few seasons, my way's better (at least in my opinion. Long live Spuffy fans) **

**_lee2020 and BtheP _- Thanks a lot, it's taken awhile and a lot of mistakes but i'm happy to say I finally like my writing style too ^_^**

**_ManiMan-_ Sorry to disappoint but I'm going to do my best to cover each season throughout this fic. Admittedly i'll probably gloss over some of the events I find, mostly, pointless but I hope you'll enjoy it regardless.**

**_jojoMRP and everyone else-_ Thanks for making me feel like this is a story people will read and enjoy. I'll be updating at least once a week, if not more. Depends on how life goes you know? But 1 chapter, minimum, for week is what you can expect.**

**Thank You all so very much **


	3. 3- Twist of Fate

_"People don't fall in love with what's right in front of them. People want the dream - what they can't have. The more unattainable, the more attractive."_

_ -Xander_

Chapter 3

She'd been sitting there for two minutes but it felt like two years. Mr. Bob Fluttie, Principal of Sunnydale High, was looking her over with warmth that, if the memories of the future were any indication, would turn into mild panic. She couldn't blame him this time around, after all what she had done wasn't near as bad as what she would do. Or would have done. The validity of her dreams/memories had already been confirmed, after all she was here in Sunnydale and she had managed to suprise Giles with that knowledge. However she wasn't so immature, since The Night, to assume that things would go as planned. She had already changed a few things, how that affected the future should have scared her. It didn't.

Whatever happened because of the changed she made she would deal with. The information stored in her head and in her notebooks wouldn't solve everything. Wouldn't always help. Things would not be simple but she refused to entertain the notion of failure. She couldn't save everyone, she knew that, but she would damn well try. It wasn't a matter of could she deal or not, it was that she **would**. With a conviction that dwarfed any power that tried to thwart her. In front of her the principal proceeded to rip her transcripts into four pieces.

"Welcome to Sunnydale." Flutties voice broke through her wayward thoughts, bringing her back to attention.

"A clean slate, Buffy. That's what you get past is the past." Well no actually the past is the future in her case but she felt it was better to not point out that little tid bit. He wouldn't understand anyway.

"We're not interested on what's written on a piece of paper." Any second now he would look at said piece of paper, ripped though it was, and change his tune. Buffy considered, truly considered, if this was something she should change. She knew how this conversation was going to go and she knew she could change it. But why should she? The man wouldn't be wrong but it was still tempting. She was already changing so much, would one conversation make a difference? The fifteen year old part of her head told her that no, it couldn't possibly mater that much. The older part of her, the part of her that had come with the memories warned that changing too many of the little things could undo everything. That Buffy pointed out that she needn't change the conversation, there was no reason to, because the man would die soon enough. So instead of changing the conversation why not change his fate?

"I know my transcripts are a bit...colorful."

And on the conversation went, just like the first time. Or the time before. Despite her conviction she was starting to see how having the memories of how things would or should be going was going to be difficult. Her fifteen year old brain told her not to worry about it, work with what she had in the best way she could. The other Buffy in her head was silent, she supposed that meant she agreed. When she escaped from Bobs increasingly awkward presence she was still in deep thought. So deep, in fact, that she ran into another girl and proceeded to drop her things all over the hallway. In a split-second she realized that this had happened before. She suspected that even if she had been totally prepared and dodged the girl her things would still end up on the floor. _Somethings _ she thought as she began gathering her things, waiting for the inevitable, _never change._

A boy's form appeared, crouching, next to her.

"Can I have you?" A voice rushed out.

_Xander_ Buffy felt the whisper in her heart and found herself looking up sharply. He was younger then she had remembered him, forgetting that, technically, she had only just met him. He was handsome in a skater-boy way and cute in a boy-next-door kind of way. Earnest, soulful, brown eyes. Nervous smile, brown, curling hair. Still innocent, still hopeful, and currently smitten.

"Can I help you?" He corrected, immediately. Awkwardly reaching for her things in a vain hope that she hadn't understood him the first time around.

"Thanks." She offered, gratefully. It was so good to see him.

"I don't know you do I?" He questioned, charming in his nervousness.

"I'm Buffy. I'm new."

"Xander." He replied, breathlessly. Eyes widening a fraction he rushed out, "Is me. Hi." Buffy chuckled as she rose, her smile bright, "Nice to meet you Xander."

He looked startled but smiled winningly.

"Maybe I'll see you around." Buffy offered him as she walked away. Ignoring him when he called out to her, stake in hand. She wasn't worried, she'd catch him in the library. He had told her, once, that he had overheard her and Giles in there on the first day of school. A soft snicker escaped her, this time the Scooby Gang would meet up a little bit earlier then before. She hoped it was enough to save Jessie. That was something she would have to try her best to do. Jessie was the main reason that Xander hated vampires so much, his biggest grudge besides jealousy _Which is going to go squish as soon as possible_.

The rest of the day had followed the same pattern as before. She met Cordelia in class. Beautiful, confidant, powerful. Cordy had been something else even in the beginning, thought the whole snobby rich girl thing was irritating in a way it shouldn't have been. It painted her soon-to-be friend as cruel and uncaring, when Cordelia was anything but. Then again the things that would make the girl realize this hadn't happened yet. Buffy gave her the benefit of the doubt and tried her best to stay on course until Cordelia mentioned the library. Buffy had spent pretty much the entire class considering her options. She could follow Cordelia and meet Willow much as she had Xander later on in the day, or she could decline Cordelias offer and take her to the Library to meet with Giles. Option B sounded better, in more way than one. She could forgive Cordelia her cruelty but to watch that cruelty dealt on Willow would cause her to do something stupid. Fifteen year old Buffy knew it, Memory Buffy knew it and Present Buffy knew it. So when the time came she easily dodged the offer and streaked out of the room, catching Willow just as she began to bend over for a drink over the water fountain.

"Hi?" Buffy offered hopefully. The red-head jerked upward, eyes much like that of a scared rabbit. "Do you want me to move?" Willow questioned much like a doormat would ask Do you want to step on me? This Buffy did not like. Perhaps before The Night she would have ignored that tone, that mild acceptance of worthlessness. Perhaps Memory Buffy would have noted that Willow was down and then proceed to deal with whatever crisis was currently going on, resolving to talk to the girl later. Present Buffy (as she was beginning to refer to herself even as she noted that her current personality was a mesh of the previous two and, thus, much different then both.) smiled instead, offering her soon to be best friend a quite, understanding, look.

"You're Willow, right?" She questioned softly, gently. The voice of a friend who'd been through countless horrors, tragedies, and celebrations with you. Willow slowly found herself smiling back, almost instantly at ease.

"Ya. Hi." She squeaked.

"I'm Buffy. Favor major, Library?" She knew where the library was at, hell she'd been there just this morning and a thousand times before. Willow did not know this, nor would Buffy reveal this. _Sometimes a girl's gotta play dirty_.

* * *

The last rays of the sun were, swiftly, retreating. The sound of a car tearing through the Welcome to Sunnydale sign unnoticed.

He had driven for days it seemed, stopping only to eat. It had been boring without his Dru, who had vehemently refused to come with him. Stating wildly that it wasn't her time or some such nonsense. The girl was a brat but oh how he loved her. So he had made the trip alone, boredom alleviated only by the itch in the back of his mind. The Order of Aurelis, he could feel their call like a flea in his brain. It had surprised him but then someone was always trying to wake 'daddy'. He hadn't let it bother him much, they couldn't sense him, couldn't touch him. _Bunch of idiots wouldn't even be worth the time it took to sneer at 'em_. He had had the same thoughts when he had run into the lot some fifty years back, the opinion obviously had not changed.

Now sparking a ciggy, flesh steaming slightly as day finally turned into night, he considered the view before him. Nice quite town, quaint, like every other nice quite town but somewhere in there was a Slayer.

"Home sweet home."

* * *

Things had been a bit more difficult then she'd thought they'd be but things had manged to work out in the end. More or less. After allowing Willow to take her to the library Buffy had abandoned her in one of the aisles and rushed to Giles. They had chatted amicably enough, hell she'd even manged to throw a little fit just so he could remind her of her duty. At the word Vampire both Willow and Xander had jumped from their hiding places. Giles had stuttered and tried, rather horribly, to explain away what the others had heard and she had managed to convince them that she was just working on something for a writing class her mother insisted she take. They didn't buy it, but they wanted to. The result was that now she was hanging with both Willow and Xander at The Bronze. Giles had opted on staying at the Library, excusing himself from the idiocy that was teen. The poor man had been flustered. Thankfully Willow and Xander didn't believe her, she knew that, but Xander had a crush and Willow was beginning to feel the pull of friendship and acceptance. Both happily swallowed the lies in favor of a truth they wouldn't be ready to handle for a few more days. She had been dancing carelessly with the two, a rather surprised Jessie dancing with them just as carelessly. Buffy was determined to keep the boy close to Xander and Willow, he was safer with them. She was just getting into it when she felt it, a weight crashing over her. She didn't stop, didn't hesitate, kept right on dancing but now her eyes were scanning the crowd.

She had felt this before, she knew who it was.

_He's early_ She thought, frowning. A flash of impossible blond to her left caught her attention and she watched him with hooded eyes as he prowled through the bodies, his blue eyes focused on her with predatory intent. Catching his gaze she smiled wickedly at him (Ok maybe it had been more like a stare. The stare a fat man gave a piece of their favorite chocolate), going so far as to give him an encouraging wink. _Keep him on his toes, keep him guessing. _Was all Buffy could think. She wanted to run to him, wanted to hold herself close to his strong frame, wanted to kiss him senseless with the feelings that poured over her. Made her knees weak. He'd kill her in a second. It hurt, that knowledge hurt, but she had known hadn't she? That he would have to try to end her before he could ever begin loving her. What had she done to prompt this? He was a year early, she hadn't prepared herself for the sight of him. Memory Buffy had taken over and made it plain that she had to keep him interested. She'd have to entice him, surprise him, keep him close enough to allow him to fall in love with her. She already loved him. She had loved him from the moment she had heard his voice through the endless stream of memory. It didn't matter that right now he wanted her dead, or that he wasn't suppose to be here yet. Didn't matter that she would have to wait years before he would be hers or that she wasn't entirely sure how they had begun, the details fuzzy in her mind as they had been from the beginning. She wasn't a patient girl, never had been, but she found being patient wasn't as hard as she thought it would be. He would be worth the wait.

He had stopped, confusion evident in eyes that traced every part of her. Her breath caught but she made herself push past it. Raising a questioning eyebrow at him. He glowered, frowned, and disappeared. Sighing Buffy turned back to her friends. She felt alone, empty. His sudden appearance and disappearance had made her ache for him stronger by a thousandfold. It was like being touched by the sun for a moment before the rain clouds shadowed its warmth. It **hurt**. Suddenly feeling sick she excused herself, stressing that she just needed some fresh air. Her friends let her go, worry etched in their gazes but they let her go. The moment she was out of sight she glanced down at her watch. _Shit. Angel.  
_

God she soooo didn't want to talk to Angel. She wanted to go find Spike. Now. Unfortunately saner heads prevailed. With a frustrated growl she dashed away towards the alleyway, beyond glad that she hadn't yet changed from her school outfit. The jeans were stretchy, giving her good movement, and while the shirt wouldn't protect her in any way it also didn't hinder her, the shoes could've been better but she'd fought enough times in heels now to expertly navigate them. She slowed when she sensed him near. Stopped for a moment, glancing around in nervous apprehension. She considered how she had dealt with this before, so not of the good. He had made fun of her, charmed her, confused her even when he'd been flat on his back and at her mercy. He would be arrogant, sure, confidant. The knowledge what this creature would do to her life made her see red. She had precious few seconds to control herself and act before he'd be upon her. It wasn't his fault, he hadn't known. But he had abandoned her, again and again. Memory Buffy had accepted it, had tried to live up to what he wanted for her. She had done everything in her power to make him want her again. Fifteen years old Buffy knew he was handsome but that flash of blond, those blue eyes, the wicked smile. She was crushing major on the evil vamp. She wondered if she would have chosen Angel is she had seen Spike first. _Even if I didn't have the memories_ she thought, confidence making her decision, _I would've chosen Spike. _Buffy moved, body leaning against the left wall. She stilled, her body coiled to strike but her guard oddly relaxed. Her eyes daring.

* * *

The girl was...odd.

Yes that was the word. Odd, strange in the head, out of her bloomin' mind. She had stopped, panic as obvious as her inexperience. She hadn't looked like the Slayer. She had looked like a deer in the headlights. Then something happened. She didn't look the part of a fifteen year old cheerleader anymore. She had straightened her shoulders and stretched herself against the left wall, muscles quivering in anticipation. Her jeans like a second skin, cupping and ass that would fit perfect in his hands, her bare back dipped at the waist, her shirt scooped in the front but tight enough the show a flat stomach and the gentle rise of full breasts. She stilled, like a lion smelling fresh meat. She looked like a Slayer. She looked like **the ** Slayer. He back-tracked.

It hadn't taken him long to find the girl. Her power was a breath of fresh air. She was a new Slayer, hadn't yet been tainted by years of battle. He had followed that power to The Bronze, he had snickered at the name. It suit his sense of humor. He had spied her in the crowd, dancing with the masses. It was strange. The other Slayers had been loners by nature, they'd shunned human interactions in an effort to protect others thus isolating themselves. He was surprised at how young she was. Kid couldn't be older than fourteen? Fifteen? He'd never killed a Slayer that young before. He almost felt disappointed, it wouldn't be a battle with death it would be a slaughter. The poor kid didn't stand a chance. He hadn't realized how hard he was staring at her when she turned her eyes on him. He'd been startled by the green jewels in her hazel eyes and by the heat behind them. A slow, tempting smile had stretched across her face and her eyes had scanned him like he was her favorite treat. His body hardened painfully, thinking that maybe pretty little cheerleader over there was inviting more trouble than she could possibly know what to do with. He'd retracted that thought when she sent a playful wink his way. She knew the game but did she know what he was. Part of him suspected she did. He'd been dragged away when a connection in his mind, long unused, sparked to life.

The curiosity of feeling Angelus nearby had prompted him to leave, to find a better vantage point. The girl had followed close behind him, apparently not so untrained if she could sense a master. Which had brought him here, perched above the alleyway. Front row to what, suddenly, appeared to be an amusing show.

* * *

He appeared out of the shadows like the fog. Slow, rolling, never really stepping more like gliding. It was very dramatic and, objectively, she understood how she could have fallen for him. He was the epitome of tall, dark, and handsome. His eyes were hooded, deep, searching. His face was beautiful, pained, and part of her wanted nothing more than to wipe that pain away. It was that sadness that hung over him, that air of power, those soulful eyes...The hot bod. Oh her heart fluttered. He was good enough to eat but...Not what she wanted. His mystery already seemed tiring, his cryptic entrance too dramatic. Add that to her memories and, overall, she barely felt a spark. Nothing like when she had spied Spike through the crowd. His red shirt had been a little loose but memory fueled her imagination. His stomach was cut, she remembered tracing her fingers down his abs, feeling him tremble at her touch. She remembered the look in his eyes when she rode him. She remembered the feel of him, hot and hard inside her. His weight bearing down against her, clutching against him painfully. His arms, lean and muscular, holding her as the pace increased. His mouth nipping at her breasts. Heat pooled in her stomach. In contrast Angel had been hesitant, careful, as if she were some fragile doll. Spike had pushed her as hard as he could knowing she could take it, Angel had refused to acknowledge her strength.

"Hey." She said brightly, surprising him. The startled look in his eyes was endearing. It made her chuckle, "Don't worry. I don't bite." The words were sultry but her eyes had focused on a point behind him. She had caught that flash of white, she had felt him near. She heard Angel take a step and she snapped to attention.

"Huh? Well I thought you'd be taller, bigger muscles and all that."

"I'm pretty spry though." Buffy finished, recounting this meeting from her dreams. Angel stalked closer, his smile charming. Buffy pushed against the wall, flashing towards him so fast the older vamp didn't know what hit him. She was hanging off his back, one hand clawing into his shoulder, the other holding the point of her stake against him. Pressing down with enough pressure for him to know that if she applied even a little bit more that point would rip through him all the way to the heart.

"What do you want?" She half snarled.

Angel stilled, no part of him moving save for the cautious turn of his head as he glanced at her.

"The same thing you do." He stated firmly, beseechingly.

"And what do I want?" She queried, when had Angel ever wanted what she wanted?

"To kill 'em. To kill 'em all."

Buffy hushed and pushed against him with all her strength, using the momentum to flip herself in the air to her feet as he went sprawling against the concrete.

"Sorry that's incorrect but you do get this watch and a years supply of beeswax." Her voice was flippant, uncaring.

"This isn't a game." Angel whispered as he stood. She stilled him with a word.

"Angelus." Confusion and dread tore through him because how could she know who he was? How when he had been trying for a century to forget what he'd been.

"Angel." He corrected.

"Angel." Buffy agreed easily, "Stalker much? Look I already know about the Harvest, thanks for the warning but hey Slayer here. I think I know what i'm doing. Also a bit much with the drama don't ya think? I mean you couldn't just go in the bar and say Oh Hey Slayer gotta talk, gotta save the world? Nope you come out at me in an alleyway." She gestured at their surroundings, "In the dark, creeping up from behind me. So not of the cool. We're in the Hellmouth you're lucky not to be dust." With that she promptly turned away. Oh she'd see Angel again, the man was stubborn when it came with what she could or could not do but it had been so satisfying to see that look on his face. She'd deal with the repercussions of this later, she was sure, and she'd have to let Angel join the Scooby gang for a time. Long enough for him to understand that she would never be his, long enough to keep Spike guessing. She had him, she knew she did. He wouldn't be able to resist her now. He was probably just as shell shocked as Angel was. Though she wouldn't be surprised if he was laughing his ass off too.

After all how many people told off Angelus?

**CailinRua- Ya that scene was something I almost wished had happened in the show. Just because well...It's Giles. Enough said. I appreciate that you find my writing and premise unique. Hope you keep on reading I'm just getting started.**

**FanficFemale- You were right about Spike. I had considered keeping him out of the picture for a few more chapters but this seemed more interesting. That and I just don't like Angel.**


	4. 4- Unexpected

_"People who think their problems are so huge craze me. Like this time I sort of ran over this girl on her bike. It was the most traumatizing event of my life, and she's trying to make it about her leg! Like my pain meant nothing."_

_ -Cordelia_

**Chapter 4**

That was bloody brilliant!

Spike muffled his laughter as best he could, not really wanting to draw attention to himself as he replayed the last few minutes again and again in his mind. The little chit had tossed Angelus clear across the alley, like a rag doll, **after** she 'd pushed a stake to his back. It was beautiful. Then the little cheerleader had called him a stalker. Angelus a stalker. The thought of it tickled him somewhere inside and he found himself wiping tears from his eyes. Hell the little Slayer had just made his century. He'd never get that image out of his head.

After the laughter and tears subsided enough for him to move he glanced over the alley. Angelus still stood there, stock still, mouth gaping in confusion. Doubled him over with laughter all over again. Wheezing, for a breath he didn't need, Spike managed to clamber to his feet. Angelus was walking back into the night, shaking his head and grumbling softly to himself. For a moment Spike considered following him, after all he'd waited years to confront the sire who'd abandoned them. It was strange, that Angelus had just walked up to the Slayer with ,apparently, no intent to kill the chit. Not that he minded, the Slayer was definitely worth the time to kill. It was a shame though, she was a spunky little thing.

Shooting a curious glance at Angelu's retreating form Spike shrugged. He'd deal with the poof later, for now he wanted to wring as much entertainment as he could out of the Slayer. Who knew when another one like her would come around?

* * *

Ok so maybe she should've fined tuned the details a tad bit more. By the time she was done with Angel and back inside the Bronze both Willow and Jesse were gone. Growling low in her throat Buffy pushed through the crowd, offering only a quick "Hey, Sorry" to Cordelia as she continued on her way. Sighting her target she started yelling.

"XANDER! XANDER GET OVER HERE!" His head whipped around, eyes searching until he spotted her. He was obviously confused but he moved towards her quickly enough. Once he was in arms reach she locked her hand around his wrist and proceeded to drag him out. She barely felt his struggles, but did loosen her grip enough to prevent him from hurting himself.

"Hey Buffy what's wrong? Quit with the pulling would you? Oww"

"Shut up Xander. Look Willow walked out of her with creepy man extreme, when I came back in his buddies were talking about what he'd do to her. We gotta go get her Xander." She hadn't slowed her pace as she explained, hadn't needed to. Xander didn't love Willow, not in a romantic sense anyway, but he'd always been protective of her. The man would kill for her, she knew that. She'd seen it. So as expected as soon as Xander put Willow and Trouble together he was running full tilt. Thankful she didn't have to drag him anymore so she upped her speed. Adrenaline surged through her, she knew how things were suppose to go but Spikes unexpected appearance had unnerved her. His appearance meant that what should have been had already been fundamentally changed. Thus a lot of the rules had been tossed out the proverbial window.

Inspiration struck like lightning. Snake quick she pulled out the three crosses she had conveniently placed in her pocket before she'd gone to school. She was suppose to have given them to her friends earlier but Spike had distracted her, then Angel, it was a mess. Without explanation she forced one over Xanders head, pure silver. If he was curious about her actions he didn't say anything. His eyes so focused on the goal it almost reminded her of the warrior he'd become. Hopefully with less angst. They reached the crypt within minutes, Buffy bursting through the door just as Willow let out a horrified screech. Buffy almost smiled, she remembered this fight. More importantly she remembered the bitch in front of her.

"Well this is nice." Her voice was upbeat, damn near conversational. Xander was braced in the door way, shell-shocked. _Poor guy, sooooo not his day, _"A dash of paint, a few throw pillows, call it home." Same words, repeated now for the first time. Buffy hadn't moved from her space beside the door this time though, and the smile that flashed across her face was pure, unadulterated, hate.

"How ya doing, Darla?"

The blond vampire flinched, as if burned. Her younger, soon to be dusted, companion was moving towards her. Eying her up and down like a piece of candy.

"Who the hell are you?" Darla's hiss should have been threatening but Buffy found that without revolvers she was a lot less scary. Still smiling Buffy pressed the crosses into Xanders hands, not bothering on instructing him on what to do with said crosses. Pushing herself away from her place next to the door she strolled away from the hostages. Predictably the vampires followed.

"Buffy we bail now right?" She gave him points for sounding brave, too bad he had told her before that he'd been scared shit-less. She didn't blame him, she knew the feeling. As the male vampire snapped a quick, "Not yet." in Xanders direction Buffy found herself rolling her eyes. Sighing she shook her head, "You know usually I like the banter, the sarcasm, all that jazz but tonight I'm really not in the mood." Without further ado Buffy pulled a stake from the scoop of her shirt and promptly tossed it at the male vamp. It stuck him in the chest with an audible thud, he groaned, fell to the floor and poof. Grinning madly Buffy turned to Darla.

"I just love vampires, no clean-up necessary." Before Darla could retort, or even move for that matter, Buffy ran, propelled herself off the sarcophagus in the middle of the crypt, and used the momentum to land a devastating kick across Darlas face. Sending the blond vamp flying away from her friends. Taking a few steps back she reached down, grabbed her stake and, without turning around, started calling out instructions.

"Xander get Willow and Jesse out of here. Put the crosses on their necks **now**." Her tone left no room for argument. The added bonus of watching a man, who had looked perfectly normal one moment and then all gross the next, turn to dust made them more inclined to listen to her and get the hell out of dodge. She could hear the crosses hit their chests as the booked it out of there. Satisfied she'd done what she could for them her attention shifted to the now standing Darla. Fifteen year old Buffy would've hesitated. Memory Buffy was just plain pissed. Present Buffy was in perfect agreement with Memory Buffy. Darla opened her mouth to speak, Buffy never gave her the chance. She'd spent the last few months doing nothing but improving herself, pushing her body into a killing machine. Each muscle responding, on instinct, to what she desired. It was almost a dance, flowing like water one attack to the next. There was something satisfying in pummeling the blond vamp. To kicking her hard enough to make ribs crack, fists crunching against her nose so that blood dripped against the cold stones. Grasping the vamp by the arm she tossed her across the room where she landed in a heap. Buffy took her time walking over to the struggling woman.

"Who are you?" Darla ground out, fury evident in her voice. Buffy chuckled, readying the steak in her hand.

"You really don't know?" Buffy waited for that split second warning, the moment when Darlas eyes flashed to something behind Buffy. Ducking down she avoided the hand that had gripped her neck the last time around. Spinning she warded off a lunge. With a laugh Buffy pushed the stake deep into Lukes chest. Twisting it just a little before pushing him off of it, his body dust before he could hit the ground. Turning back she caught a fleeing Darlas foot and ripped her back to the ground. With another tug she was straddling the master vampire, stake pressed against the heart.

"You deserve worse than this for what you did to them." Pressure. Dust. Satisfaction.

It should have horrified her, did horrify her a bit, but it made no difference to her. Not really. Innocence and Future were interlocked so tightly together that the lines had begun to blur. Part of her was happy to feel her adrenaline pumping, that she had engaged in battle and come out the victor. Part of her understood that Darla, unlike Angel, Spike, and even Dru, was irrevocably irredeemable. She had no morals, no honor. She played dirty, cheated, killed anything and anyone in her way. She had created Angelus, letting loose a horror the world had never been ready for. She encouraged the torture that drove Drusilla insane, abused Spike with as much ferocity as Angelus had had. She lived to end the world, to end her own suffering. The innocent in her saw it as a mercy, the Slayer in her told her this was pure vengeance. Clapping broke the silence.

"Now that's impressive pet." The voice washed over her, heat pooled in her belly. Grinning Buffy turned.

There was no crowd of people in her way this time and she took a full minute to just look at him. His blond hair was slicked back, her fingers itched to run through the soft locks. His coat hung heavy around him, accentuating the paleness of his skin. He had a devil-may-care smirk on his face, blue eyes alight with mirth. She tried, desperately, to keep the her mind on the here and the now when flashes of slick flesh rubbing against her, holding her, blunt teeth biting where fangs wished to go assaulted her. Countless memories of him trying to kill her, him saving her, kissing him, touching him, fighting with him. She gave her head an imperceptible shake and leaned back against the sarcophagus. Her shirt rode up, giving him a peak of sun-kissed skin.

"William the Bloody." Her voice had lowered an octave. It was husky, inviting but still managed to retain a hint of her upbeat 'I've got better things to do with my time then deal with you're dumb ass' tone, "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

* * *

First she'd beat down and insulted Angelus in the space of a few seconds, then she had managed to kill Darla. Two master vamps in one night, the Slayer was getting more and more interesting by the second. Damn girl didn't even break a sweat. She had such **fire**. This Slayer **burned**, brighter than anything he had seen in a very very long time. She had enjoyed the fight, he could feel it rolling off her in waves. She hadn't hesitated in killing, neither had the other two Slayers, but she had taken such joy in the battle. He could understand that. Hardly a thing out there as sweet as a good fight. He hadn't meant to creep into the crypt, had had no intention of confronting the Slayer just yet but he had been drawn to her. He hadn't meant to start clapping but, honestly, the little minx deserved it. She was still rusty but she was more impressive than he had thought she'd be. He wasn't even surprised when she didn't jump at his voice. Between what he'd seen her do to Angelus, and now Darla he would've been disappointed in the girl. When she just stared at him he felt his hope for entertainment begin to die, that is until she began worrying her lower lip, eyes gleaming as they rolled down his body languidly.

When her eyes reached his face again she smiled again, a wicked thing, and leaned back against the sarcophagus behind her. His eyes were trained on the strip of skin that the action exposed. Damn shame she was so young. He was a bad man, a truly bad man, but he wasn't that bad.

"William the Bloody." Her voice made something inside him stir, a heat he had longed forgotten, "To what do I owe the pleasure?" She was a cheeky thing.

"Done your research, luv? Flattered, is what I am. But it's Spike and the pleasures mine."

"Not yet." She replied, flippantly. Spike felt himself smirk

"Ahh think you're tough then do ya Slayer? Took down a Master Vamp tonight, pet, but she was never much of a fighter. Got the jump on the old Poof too. That's two for two and my century just got a whole lot brighter for it. You wanna go a round pet? I'll have a gay old time with it."

"You think you can dance with me Spike?" She asked sweetly, her voice sugar and cotton candy. Patronizing. Part of him was furious, the rest of him enjoyed the verbal spar. Reaching casually behind him he ripped out a metal beam from the depths of the stone wall. Her nose wrinkled in mild disgust.

"Do we really need weapons for this?"

"They make me feel manly." His hand traced down his stomach, dipping just barely under the waist band of his pants. Her eyes zeroed in on the motion and Spike blurred forward, connecting the side of the pole with her unguarded shoulder. Slayer barely flinched. Chuckling her green eyes found his, "Oh do it again Spike." Her hand locked on the pole, pulling it back as she pulled herself forward, forcing their bodies to collide. He felt so good against her, all hard muscles and silk skin. Reaching with her free hand she ran her fingers through his hair, brought her lips against the shell of his ear, "It tickles. In a good way." She felt his arm tense and flipped out of his reach. The fire in his eyes warmed her, then he lunged. It took her all of two seconds to realize that he was still stronger than her, better than her. Two seconds to realize she wasn't ready for the dance, not yet. She'd overestimated herself but he had underestimated her. He still wasn't going at her with his full strength, she wanted to believe that he couldn't. That he wouldn't hurt her, not really, even when she knew that that belief was currently dead wrong. They traded blows, letting instinct take over. Her body seemed to know every move, as if she'd fought him a hundred times before. The dance of death creating a friction between them that had Spike hardening to the point of near madness. He swung, she dropped and swept him off his feet. In an instant she was on him, his stiff cock cradled between warm thighs. Buffy threw her head back and laughed, exhilarated. He made to grab at her, but she moved her arm to the side, caught the incoming fist and stopped it. Slowly, with sultry intent, she opened his fingers. Slipping the tip of a single digit into her mouth and sucking hard. His eyes flashed with heat. Pulling his hand away she locked their finger together and leaned over him, her breasts pressing against the impossible hardness of his chest. Her lips hovered above his, her eyes glittering mischievously. Taking a page out of Faith's book she allowed her lips to just barely brush his with every word.

"Still a little young, I know. Give me a year or two Spike and I could ride you at a gallop, until your legs buckled and your eyes rolled up." To emphasize her point she pressed her thighs a little harder against him, pushing the core of her close enough that, had they been nude, he would have slipped inside her. "I've got muscles you've never even dreamed of." His eyes took on a peculiar glazed look, hooded as heat washed over him, "I could squeeze you till you popped like warm champagne and you'd beg me to hurt you just that little bit more." The last word escaped her with a soft breath, her lips immediately pressing firmly against his. Tasting and taunting, teasing and inviting. Spike's free hand tangled in her hair, pressing her lips closer, making her groan. At the soft utterance his tongue slipped inside and battle hers for dominance. She wasn't sure how long they stayed like that. It could've been seconds, minutes, hours. He tasted like chocolate, hot and addicting, the warmth slipping down to her core. The heat seeping through her jeans and making him strain even harder against her. With a final taste she pulled herself away from him, chest heaving. He watched her still, confusion and lust warring inside of him. Gently she unlocked their hands, deftly slipping the skull ring (the same one he would one day propose to her with thanks to one of Willows wayward spells) from his fingers and placing it carefully on her ring finger.

She could see the focus coming back to his eyes, could feel his body tensing to push her away from him. She beat him to it, scrambling away from him as if finally realizing she was a child playing with fire. He was watching her, intrigued, and she flashed him another smile. Holding up her hand, showing off the ring she had taken from him.

"You'd best get back to Dru yes? I've got some clean up to do. Rematch in a year or two? Tell you what if you lose I keep the ring, I lose and i'll give you something you want."

He didn't answer, his demon too intent on the image of pulling her back against him and ripping her silly clothes off to give her what she'd been begging him for. To get what her words had promised. It pissed him off.

"A sip of Slayers blood." She took a step back, then another, even as he began to rise to his feet. With a look of longing she devoured him and then disappeared into the night. Aching and hot and needy but desperate to make sure her friends were all ok. She hadn't planned on that but, with the taste of him on her lips, she hardly cared.

Back in the crypt Spike was slowly coming down from the rampant lust that had brought his demon to attention, not to mention other more obvious parts of his anatomy. He was staring at the space the Slayer had occupied not a moment before with fascination. _A Slayer with a taste for vampire_ was the only truly coherent thought that came to mind. He couldn't even bring himself to question how she knew about Dru, she'd known the rest of them. It wasn't hard to make the leap. The taste of her lingered in his mouth, strawberries. Fresh, wild, delicious. He ran a hand through his already tousled hair, remembering how her hands had glided through the locks with almost reverent consideration. His senses were in a whirl and in his mind all he could hear was her telling him how in a year or two she'd take him on. Ride him at a gallop.

"Bloody Hell."

**I hadn't expected this chapter to go like this but having brought Spike to the here and now it would have been wrong not to torture him. Just a little.**

**valerie21601- Thank you for the compliment, makes me feel good ^_^. You're right though. You could say i'm practicing for the real thing.  
**

**KittenOfDoomag- It's a hard line to straddle, innocence and experience. I'm having a lot of fun trying to pull it off.**

**Thank you all for your reviews, I really appreciate them. Hope to keep seeing them, and reading about what you do and do not like about this story. **

**Next chapter will be posted sometime early next week if all goes according to plan.**

**Enjoy!**


	5. 5- My way

_''You sit behind your desk and learn how to accept the world. Well here's the rub, heroes don't do that. Heroes don't accept the way it is, they fight it''_

_ -Lindsey_

Chapter 5

She'd almost been too late. Her time with Spike meant she was late to fight off the vampires that attacked her friends in the cemetery, she'd forgotten about them. She had arrived on the scene just as one of the vamps was closing a hand over Jesse's cross, crying out even as he pulled it off the boys neck. With an expert toss the stake went through said vamp, leaving her open to his partner to tackle her from behind. Grunting Buffy moved to push him off her, screaming at her friends to get to Giles. Xander, smart boy that he was, plucked the fallen cross from the ground and pushed it into Jesses hand before running, full tilt, at the vamp on top of her. He hadn't been expecting it.

"You ok Buffs?" He breathed out, raggedly. Jumping to her feet she pushed him to the ground just as the vamp tried to tackle him from the side. Frowning she turned to her fallen friend.

"Get them to Giles Xander. I'll be right behind you." Two more vamps popped out from behind headstones, Willow and Jesse scrambled to Xander and pulled him to his feet. Buffy slammed a palm into Ugly #1 when he tried lunging at her again, sending him back against the newcomers.

"**GO**!" She commanded as she rushed the vampires, scooping up her stake along the way. As her friends pounding footsteps faded behind her she jumped Ugly #2 pushing the stake deep into his chest. He exploded in a cloud of dust, Buffy whirled and got knocked on her back when Ugly #1 and #3 tackled her from both sides. #1 pulled the stake from her hand, his hot breath making her gag. #3 pinned her struggling legs. Growling Buffy struggled against their hold.

"Boys I really am more of a one guy kinda girl." She freed a hand, swung at her captor, missed. He pinned her again. The vamps laughed uproariously, #3 bent over her body, eyes tracing the faint pulse at her neck. She felt his fangs scrape.

"Now that's not fair." A voice broke out from the darkness making Buffy's eyes widen in shock. Ugly #3 pulled back, eyes searching the darkness. Buffy didn't give him a chance, putting all her strength into a jarring headbutt. #3 rolled off her with a groan, Buffy's head felt like she'd slammed it into a brick wall. _Close enough._ Ignoring the pain she pulled her legs up and back, locking them around ugly #1 and twisting. Breaking his neck, he crumpled to the side. Vamp healing would have him up and rarin' to go, but it would take a few minutes. Berating herself under her breath she looked into the darkness, eyes picking him out of the shadows.

"Toss me my stake would you Angel?"

One came barreling out of the darkness. Catching it effortlessly she proceeded to walk over and stab Ugly #3, who was blinking away doubles, then to the twitching Ugly #1. Vampires dealt with Buffy turned to where Angel was gliding out of the darkness. Really? Hadn't she already addressed the stalker thing?

"Thanks." She offered, sounding both grateful and annoyed all at the same time.

"This isn't a game..." His questioning eyes sought hers, his lips twisting in a wry smile.

"Buffy." She completed for him, amicably enough. "And ya, trust me, I know. First day of school and already dealing with vamps. I mean here I thought I'd be worrying about being behind in class or, hey, if there weren't any cute boys in my class. But noooo. I'm here a week, a week! Nothing happens, first day of school? Well let's just go after the Slayer today guys. And didn't I tell you to stop following me? I mean I appreciate the assist but, totally, creepy. Yes?"

He was just standing there, as if he couldn't believe the words coming out of her mouth. She knew why though. He had expected her to be some sweet, empty-headed cheerleader. Only interested in shopping and her equally air-headed friends. Essentially he wanted her to be Cordelia. Once upon a time she had been. Gods he had made her hate everything about her life. He had been solely responsible for her attitude on Slaying. He had wanted her to be normal and she had loved him so much that she had let that one thing color her entire life. She had hated her life. Now she was determined to enjoy it.

"Problem?"

He shook his head numbly, eyes searching for some spark within hers. "You're not safe here, at the mouth of Hell."

Buffy huffed, "Look Angel, buddy. I get it. I'm on a Hellmouth, the master is trying to come back and bring the old ones with him. Horrible things will happen. I know you've got a soul, I know you want to help but this is **not ** the way to do it. I'm the Slayer and, ya, I might be just a kid but if you want to help me, be part of the group, you're gonna have to learn how to treat me as an equal. And equals do not stalk each other in the night."

"Each other huh?" He asked, giving her one of those charming smiles that was destined to make any woman weak in the knees. Her knees stayed strong, her body still on such a large Spike-high that it didn't even acknowledge him. Chuckling, exasperated Buffy walked away from him. She sooooo did not need this right now. Nope she had a Scooby Gang to create, and memories from the here and now of a very tasty Spike. Nope she wouldn't let Angel ruin that. He didn't try following her, she was unsurprised. Angel had always been like the wind, coming and going without warning. It annoyed her.

She ran through the cemetery, heading to the school and Giles, hoping she would catch up with her friends before they reached the librarian's. Things would be less icky if she was there with them.

* * *

He had manged to get his Demon under control, barely, but his mind was still reeling. His body burning from where the damned Slayer had pressed against him. Soulless he may be but the thought of what he'd just done, with a **child** (ok the girl was fifteen and, ya, technically all humans were children compared to him but that wasn't the point sod it all!) was making his head hurt. His demon argued that she had instigated that little snogging session but he refused to think on that. If he did he would go out into the night, find her, and take her hard and fast against the nearest available surface. She was right, she was too young. That bit of information did nothing to slow the raging lust. He couldn't even bring himself to consider her offer for Slayer blood. After all he could kill her now and take the blood while he was at it. He found himself strangely reluctant to consider that. Why kill her now when he could just fight her over and over, claiming his prize each time. Until he was tired of her, of course. She was proving to be one surprise after another. She had been so fierce, nipping and sucking at his lips, matching his ferocity with her own but her touch had been tender, careful. As if she had been holding something precious, it was damned confusing. Her scream broke through the night air.

He didn't realize he was moving until he was almost upon her. Pinned to the ground by two new-turns, his ears catching the fading sounds of footsteps. _Her friends? _He questioned, understanding the oddity that was a Slayer with friends. When one of the young ones bent down, fangs at the ready, he saw himself stalking over to them and ripping them from her while growling **mine**. He took a step, pulled himself back. Dru wanted the girl dead, he should have killed her in that crypt. He hadn't but there was no reason for him to help her now. No need either. When a voice came from the darkness opposite him he retreated, not keen on facing Angelus just yet. Especially when the poof tossed a stake to the slayer. He listened intently, chuckling at the girls gratitude and subsequent telling off. Wait _Soul? Angelus with a soul? _Did she really believe that? Truly? Angelus was one of, if not, **the** most evil being he'd had the misfortune of meeting. Not to mention all those years he'd been under the older vampires 'care'. Spike shuddered involuntary, anger making his jaw tick.

When both the Slayer and Angelus moved on Spike allowed himself to take a moment and consider his options. Dru would want to know Angelus was here, he might even be able to fix her. Not that he'd do it if asked but Spike had no intention of asking. The Slayer could wait, he didn't know how long Angelus would be in town and he needed Dru to be back to her normal childish self again, her weakness hurting him somewhere deep inside. Decision made he lit a ciggy, unconsciously rubbing the filter against his lips just as Buffy had when she'd been on top of him. When his body hardened he assumed it was thoughts of Dru and not the little blond that had come alive in his arms just a few minutes before.

* * *

"No. No! You don't understand she was like, oh you're so cute, but then she was like, grrr and then Buffy came and the other guy went like...Poof." The panicked words, spluttering out of three different mouths, was accompanied by waving arms and plenty of sound effects. She almost wished she had popcorn. Jesse, Willow, and Xander had reached Giles a few minutes before she did, her poor watcher desperately trying to get the three teens to come down long enough for him to make sense of them. She had reached them in time to make herself comfortable in a chair, their backs to her, and Giles looking at her with what could only be described as a 'Explain yourself right now young lady' look reserved for parental scoldings. She shrugged helplessly, the exchange drawing her friends attention. Xander moved first, running up to her and hauling her into his arms. He squeezed her hard, ignoring the way her feet hit his calves as he walked her to the others. When he did release her it was to allow Jesse to wrap his arms around her shoulder from behind, and for Willow to lock her arms around her waist. Xander rested a hand on her head, eyes scanning her for any injury. It felt good to be so loved. After a few moments of this she shook them off of her, moving to stand next to Giles.

"What's going on Buffy?" Xander demanded.

"Ya, what was that?" Willow asked breathlessly, her body collapsing onto a chair, arms wrapped around herself protectively. Jesse moved up behind Willow and placed a hand on her shoulder, earning himself a grateful smile. Buffy watched the two with interest for a minute before turning to her watcher. Giles sighed, openly, tiredly.

"This world is older than any of you know. Contrary to popular mythology, it did not begin as a paradise. For untold eons demons walked the Earth. They made it their home, their... their Hell. But in time they lost their purchase on this reality. The way was made for mortal animals, for, for man. All that remains of the old ones are vestiges, certain magicks, certain creatures."

"Like vampires." Buffy supplied, grinning as she realized this was the same speech that Giles had given the gang the first time around too. Xander moved away from the group, frowning, pacing. He turned on Giles, "Okay, this is where I have a problem. See, because we're talking about vampires. We're having a *talk* with vampires in it"

"Isn't that what we saw?" Willow questioned from her spot in the chair. Jesse just stood there, Buffy figured he was still going through shock.

"No. No, th-those weren't vampires, those were just guys in thundering need of a facial. Or maybe they had rabies. It could have been rabies. A-and that guy turning to dust? Just a trick of light." She huffed at him, hands on her hips, " That's exactly what I said the first time I saw a vampire. Well, after I was done with the screaming part." She corrected herself instantly. She was almost ashamed of how she'd reacted, the dreams showing her things more horrible than just vampires. Jesse suddenly yelped, hands slapping against his neck.

"What's your issue?" Buffy questioned as the boy began running his fingers across his neck, arms, he took of his shoe and checked between the toes. Buffy rolled her eyes at his panic-induced search. She snapped a finger in front of his eyes, drawing his attention to her.

"To make you a vampire they have to suck your blood. And then you have to suck their blood. It's like a whole big sucking thing. Mostly they're just gonna kill you."

Giles focused on the four youths, his eyes taking on a fierce expression that made the mild-manner librarian thing seem more like a psycho-killer thing.

"A Slayer hunts vampires; Buffy is a Slayer; don't tell anyone. Well, I think that's all the vampire information you need." With that he started trying to heard the three outsiders out the door. Buffy reached over and placed a hand on his arm, preventing him from moving. He looked at her, displeasure evident in his eyes. Buffy offered a beaming smile, Giles could never resist the smile. Predictably he dropped his hand and turned, arms raising in the air in exasperation before falling, defeated, at his side. Taking his place Buffy considered the occupants of the room. She would have to play this carefully, but she needed them in fighting shape yesterday.

"So now that you know about that little gem i've got a few more things to throw your way. Let's start Jesse you should be dead. The vampires were gonna turn you and use you to try to kill me and Xander. No worries, didn't happen." Jesse turned sheet white, muttered that he felt sick. "Xander if you wanna tackle vamps go for it, just take some classes first. I'm stronger than the average person, faster, i'm a better fighter. I was made to take out ghoulies and ghosties, it's what i'm made to do. You are not. Even at your best i'll still be better than you but if you can accept that, and get some classes in, then you can help me out."

"No. No absolutely not Buffy." Giles rounded on her, his voice injected with just the right mix of disbelief and righteous fury. Buffy raised a brow at him, "Look, Giles, I'm not doing the whole 'lonely' slayer thing. So last year. If they want to help they're gonna help. Better to have them with us then let them go and wait to see if they do something stupid on their own. Besides i've got a feeling that Xander'll be a major badass in no time. Jesse well Hell, give him a crossbow, some holy water and a stake and he could defend himself just fine. And Willow." The girl froze, still as a statue, "Willow can help you out with the computer stuff. Let's give her some training too, you like magic Will? There's plenty of magical threats out there, you could be our resident expert. We could get you a teacher."

"Buffy what you're talking about is putting children into an unfair fight." Giles tried to reason with her.

"We're already in the fight." Xander shot out. Jesse moving to stand next to him in support. Willow worried her lower lip for a moment before nodding shyly. Buffy was looking forward to putting Willow on the fast track to magic and this time she'd make sure the shy girl learned everything she needed to about consequence. She'd beat it into the red haired girls head if she had to. Buffy turned back to Giles with a 'See, told you so' smile stretching across her face. The watcher sighed in defeat, leveling her with an unreadable look, "Buffy I do not approve of this, the watcher council wi-"

"Fuck the watcher's council. I'm the Slayer, my life my rules. If they want to help, let them help. I'm not going to throw away assets just because the council wouldn't like it. Beside the only Watcher I need is you." She countered vehemently. Giles swallowed, trapped between happiness at her compliment and outrage on behalf of the council. Refusing to acknowledge that, perhaps, she had a point. Allowing that he'd have to humor her for now. Admitting that having others fight at her side would offer a measure of safety. Not much but some. Finally nodding jerkily in her direction he allowed her to continue.

"Now people this is what's going on. A pack of vamps have come here to Sunnydale, which is a Hellmouth that acts as a bridge between our dimension and the dimension of the old ones. It attracts some majorly bad juju. Anyway the vamps are part of the Order of Aurelius and they want to bring their daddy back except he wants to bring along all his friends. So not good, bad, you could say apocalyptic. Tomorrow night is the Harvest, they're gonna try to bleed as many people as possible. They're gonna be especially desperate since I dusted their, uh, vessel? Pretty soon they're gonna get the annoying one to come here, trust me you don't wanna know. All we gotta do is stop them now, later, and always and the world is safe. Questions?"

Nobody moved. She turned to Giles, he had the same glazed expression that her friends sported. Minus Jesse whose mouth had opened in slack-jawed information overload.

"Too much?" She squeaked out.

**Ok so I know that I said i'd be updating next week but I got so many great reviews yesterday that I wanted to give you guys one more before my work week starts. I know it's a little short but I hope you enjoy the new twists. **

**valerie21601- Don't worry...I intend to.**

**Serenity's Embrace- I don't blame you. I've read my fair share of Spuffy fics and most of them just plain hurt. The rest of them were really good though and part of my inspiration for this story.**

**kelticmoon- No I never even knew such sites existed but i'm touched that you think my fic would rate a recommendation to those pure Spuffy sites out there. Thank you so much. **

**And a special thanks to ginar369- I appreciate you pointing out my little mess-ups. I enjoy your reviews, hehe I forgot that Angel use to snack on rats.**

**See you next week everyone.**


	6. 6- Scoobies

_"The forces of darkness are always around us. Just beyond the edges of our vision, waiting for an opening... an opportunity to insinuate themselves into this world. Those who stand against the dark must band together, trust one another, and share what few simple weapons we have. The alternative... the disaster that would result if what lurks beyond should ever return- well, it's simply... unimaginable."_

_ -Rupert Giles_

Chapter 6

The silence was making her twitch. Made her skin itch. Sighing she turned away from them. Worrying at her lower lip she considered her options. She was sure they would believe her, with time, but right now they were more upset of how she had the knowledge she had. In all honestly she should be as clueless as they were, she was suppose to be. She had slipped up but she was beginning to believe that the longer she kept them in the dark the worse things would get. She remembered what it was like when she was keeping secrets from her friends, or when they kept secrets for themselves. It never helped, in the end the secrets had destroyed them.

Giles in Europe, broken and brutal. He was simultaneously the best and worst Head Watcher in the history of the council. Xander lacking an eye and with a heart that had been crushed just one too many times, unable to see anything past duty. Willow, twisted and lonely held together by guilt and a woman who was too harsh, too brutal, to take the place of the one she'd lost. Angel so wrapped in regret and duty that he'd made his own life infinitely worse, forced to lose everything he loves in hopes that salvation lay in sacrifice. Spike hurting, abused, unloved until that last moment. Spike who had fought for a soul, with no one to appreciate how beautiful and horrible and unimaginably terrible such a sacrifice must be. Jesse dead. Her mother dead. Spike dead. Hundreds tainted by their mistakes, thousands suffering because of their secrets, the world almost lost because of their selfishness.

Awareness flashed over her. Pulled from her thoughts she found herself striding towards one of the windows, eyes rolling in exasperation. Once she'd successfully managed to open the window, _because, damn it, those freaking little thingamajigs never lock_, she popped her head out of the opening.

"Angel get in here. Please." The last was added as an afterthought. Having revealed her awareness to him, when the first time around she hadn't been here in the library because she'd been to busy crushing on the depressing vamp, she figured she had an even fifty-fifty chance he'd come in. By now she was sure he was as equally exasperated with her as he was intrigued. One thing that Spike and Angel had always shared was their inability to walk away from curiosity. Spike stayed until he was fully sated (unless Drusilla needed him because, as he had so often said, he was Love's Bitch) while Angel satisfied himself with a few glances, a few touches, and then ran away leaving behind a trail of destruction and pain.

She was unsurprised, after she'd backed away from the window, to see him gracefully crawling through. That a man of his height could make such a comidic action graceful and disturbingly, to her, sexy boggled the mind. When he finally straightened before her she took a moment to look at him. After seeing Spike, kissing him, touching cold silk skin she could bring herself to appreciate how utterly handsome Angel was. Tall, dark, brooding, tragic his image suited his name, his was a face that almost brought a tear to her eye. But that was all it was, appreciation. Her mind accepted that he was handsome, beautiful even, but there was no more to it than that. Though her heart had countless memories of him, countless memories of them together, there was nothing more than a pull of careless affection. He had been important for her once, in the dreams, and he would be important to her now too but only as a friend. A distant friend, at his preference.

It had taken a lifetime of mistakes crammed into a younger head but she'd finally gotten over Angel. There was affection, friendship and a lack of anger over things not yet done. Her smile was brilliant.

"Thanks." Her voice was happy, the first time he'd heard it like that. He offered her a small smile. Turning away from him she glanced at her friends. Putting hands on hips she shook her head and glanced up at the ceiling, silently hoping this wouldn't blow up in her face somehow.

"Ok let's try this again."

"Buffy-" Giles tried to interrupt but a raised hand stopped him. She studied him, considered her words.

"A few months ago I woke up from a nightmare. I thought it was just a bad dream but then things started happening. I killed my first vampire, I met my first Watcher, I even got my first kiss. Then the questions started and I had another dream. It was..." She paused, her eyes moving to search through the crowd of friends. They'd drawn closer to her, even Angel at her back, their entire beings focused on her every word. The blue eyes, sharp and warm, weren't there. In her mind's eye she saw him turn to her. She saw him burn.

Voice catching, laced in pain, she continued, "horrible. The things I saw..." She looked at them again, just for a moment, before closing her eyes, "I'll never forget it. The visions I was given that night changed everything."

"What'd ya see Buffy?" Xander questioned, his voice quite.

"Ya Buffy, you can tell us." Willow, supporting and loving.

"I saw us. All of us. Jesse you were suppose to be taken tonight, turned, you were gonna kill us. Xander you would've killed him and for the rest of your life you'd never stop hating them for that. For making you kill your best friend. Willow one day, soon, you're going to be more powerful than you could ever dream of but you never learn that with power comes consequence. You get so addicted to the power that you lose sight of everything else and you hurt just as often as you help." By now Jesse looked decidedly pale, his eyes trained on Xander as if trying to imagine what it would be like to try to kill his best friend, or how it would feel to know that his best friend had killed him.

Xander was looking at Jesse in much the same way and she was happy to note that his horror held not the smallest tint of anger. Willow, on the other hand, looked ready to faint. Her body sheet white, suddenly smaller, frailer. She the look she directed at Buffy spoke of vulnerability and disgust, with herself. There was shame there, because hadn't Willow already done things like this before? A computer virus here and there? A need to gloat, even if it was quietly? Not often, no, but she had and Willow could suddenly see what could happen if she were given power, true power. She would be a monster. The look in her eyes was pure, unadulterated terror. Buffy found herself moving to the girl, wrapping her arms around her tight until, little by little, Willow returned the embrace.

"Hey, calm down Will." Buffy pulled away from her friend, eyes locking with the red head's, "You'll get a teacher this time around, we'll help you. We won't leave you to handle this by yourself ok?"

The shy girl in her arms nodded, hesitantly. Buffy knew she wanted to question her. Buffy also knew that Willow didn't want to know anything else. Staying close to Willow Buffy turned to Giles.

"I dreamed that I loved you like a father. I dreamed that you'd always be there for me but only if I thought like you. I dreamed that black and white don't exist Giles. I dreamed of Ripper." The name made Giles take a wary step back, a hand instantly raised in front of him as if warding of an attack. Guilt made his eyes dark, shame made his head bow. Last she faced Angel. She took a single, tentative step towards him.

"I dreamed I loved you Angel." She watched him take a step towards her, watched as his eyes flickered with something dangerously close to hope.

"It went bad Angel. It went real bad." He stopped, she could almost hear his heart breaking. She'd been the hope he needed to fight the pain, even after he'd abandoned her he had held onto that. It wasn't true though. Buffy holding onto Angel had nearly destroyed her. Angel holding on to Buffy had nearly destroyed the world. Sighing she took another step towards him and then another until she could grasp his hand in hers.

"There's a sting to your curse Angel." She whispered, so low that only he could hear her. "You have your soul because they want you to suffer, they want you never to be happy right?" His head bobbed in confirmation, his hands reaching to pull her close and she allowed it. Maybe not the way he wanted, when he tried to mold her to him she shifted. Wrapped her arms loosely around him and offered a single squeeze before pulling away from him.

"If you're ever happy Angel, truly happy, for even a second the soul leaves. Do you understand? The only way to save yourself from the pain is to lose the thing you've been trying to redeem." His eyes held hers, his hand reaching blindly for hers and nearly crushing it. She squeezed back, just as fiercely. She hadn't wanted to tell him, he should have done all he could to find the details himself, but he needed to know. Now before he could destroy himself further.

His mouth opened, closed, and then he pulled away from her. She watched him walk to the window, watched him look at her with such longing she ached for him and then she watched him disappear into the night. He'd come back to her, eventually, she knew. He still thought she was his salvation, so he'd leave and brood and take his time thinking it over. Then he'd return. She had no doubt that within the week he'd be shadowing her again.

"I don't understand." Jesse finally called out to her, brought out of his reverie by Angel's departure. Giles answered before Buffy had the time to turn to her friend.

"Slayers have special skills. Strength, speed. They heal quickly, every instinct geared for battle. These uh skills can, sometimes, include prophetic dreams. Warnings of what is to come, bestowed upon them by the Powers That Be. How much?" He turned to her, uncertainty making him seem somehow more human than she'd ever seen him.

"How much do I know?" She finished the question for him, waited for his nod. "Enough. We can talk about that later, right now we gotta save the world."

Xander recovered first. Standing he took a moment to look around the room, took the time to consider what he was doing. Sure the girl was hot, crazy but hot, and sure this meant danger and possibly death but it was the world. It wasn't just one person or one town or city. Buffy was talking about the **world. **

"Tell us what to do."

* * *

The car hadn't moved.

Oh he'd turned it on, then off, then on again. Now he was just standing there, back pressed against the hard metal, cigarette clamped between his lips, smoke drifting lazily upwards. He would've appeared perfectly normal if he hadn't been in full game face. He had to get back to Dru, bring her back here to Angelus. Make the wanker pay for a hundred years of abandonment. He had to kill the Slayer. So why hadn't he? She had been young, true, but she had fought well. Not good enough, maybe, to take him at full strength but the dance...Ah the dance had been nice. Heat made his yellow eyes blaze like the sun at the memories of how the dance had ended. The dance had changed he could feel it, a twinge somewhere inside him. He wanted her to be better. He wanted this Slayer to be at her peak before he took her down. The other two, they slipped, they had wanted to die just as much as he'd wanted to kill them. Not this one. This one was full of life, she'd be a trophy.

Dru wouldn't understand but once she knew of Angelus she'd come running. She'd decimate everything in her path to get back to her beloved 'Daddy', even sick as she was she'd do it. The thought was a bitter one. The knowledge that she'd leave him in a moment for Angelus had been something he'd learned to ignore. Choosing, instead, to believe that if the time ever came she'd pick him. Stay with him, his dark princess. A flash of blond in his mind made him straighten. Hazel eyes blazing with emeralds made him snarl. Spike hurled himself at the nearest statue, still close enough to the cemetery to make the task a simple thing. His fists pummeled stone, feeling only a slight resistance, his legs kicked out as if imagining the young Slayer cowering on the ground before him. His body **burned**, his demon **wanted**, William **ached.** Sudden blue eyes widened, horror etched into every speck. _Oh no, Oh God no. _He had thought the last remnants of William gone years ago. The shy, cowardly poet buried behind innumerable gallons of blood, pinned beneath a mountain of corpses. Oh he'd seen hint of him, over the long years. Not enough to concern him, more than enough to keep him chained to Drusilla's side. Growling in frustration Spike threw out a last, feeble, punch. It didn't satisfy him, few battles satisfied him anymore if he was honest with himself. Too easy, his opponents too weak. Nothing like the Slayer.

He felt his body recoil at the thought of her, his demon fighting him for control in an attempt to find the young woman. Normally he and his demon acted as a single unit. Even in the beginning the two had seen eye to eye on everything. Now his demon was straining against him, aching for something but whether that was the Slayers life or something else he didn't know. Didn't want to know because those thoughts were pure William. The idea that his demon and William could agree on anything was absurd, issuing forth a maddening kind of chuckle but hey he'd bite. _Bollocks_ the word reverberated in his mind, bringing another chuckle with it. Shaking with the laughter he leaned against the remains of the decimated statue, lighting another ciggy as he took in his surroundings.

"All right then, suppose I should stick around a bit. Dru'll keep for a week, enough time to make sure Angelus stays right here."

_And the Slayer? _He wasn't sure which part of him asked the question. Didn't much care to be quite honest. He'd been off his game, hadn't expected a Slayer like her. Not his fault, she was a rare breed. So he'd watch and he'd wait, he'd make her want. Make her hate. When she was ready they'd have it out, they'd dance their dance and at the end of it she'd lay lifeless and bleeding at his feet. A memory to warm his nights when the battles were too mundane. In the meantime he'd need to find a place to stay.

Satisfied he reached for another ciggy, lighting it with an expert hand. Inhaling, he allowed the acrid taste to slide down his throat. The feeling reminding him that he was hungry. Grinning in anticipation he made his way back to his car and if, somewhere in the deepest corners of his heart, William saw hope Spike thought nothing of it. The man had always been a bleedin' fool.

* * *

Things had run much smoother than she thought they would. After outlining her plan Willow and Giles had buried themselves in books, searching for anything that could help or hinder their plan. Jesse and Xander had braved the night and made their way to Giles home, instructed on what to grab and where to find them. They returned not an hour later with two sacks filled with supplies: Stakes, crosses, a smattering of holy water, a few gallons of gasoline, matches, and even a couple of crossbows, complete with bolts. Buffy and the boys had begun preparing themselves, the boys following her instructions with almost reverent intensity. The plan was simple, she had found through the other Buffy's memories that simple often times worked best. They would wait until noon, when the sun was highest and most of the vampires were sure to be asleep. Buffy had no doubt that the Master still harbored the idea that she would go to them, gung ho and ready to fight only for him to kill her at last. He was probably sore about losing his preferred vessel, not that it would stop him from making another. The distraction, the frustration, would play into their hands. He had to be aware that the entrance in the crypt would not remain hidden form her long but he had no idea she knew where he was and of the other entrance she knew of. Buffy, Xander, and Jesse would go down into the darkness of the tunnels leaving a trail of gasoline behind them. The boys would be **covered** in crosses, she'd super glue the damn things on if they complained. Once they reached the center, the Master, it was only a matter of dusting the Master and the vessel and any other bloodsucker that got in their way even as the boys continued to splash gasoline everywhere. They'd leave opposite the way they came, light the gasoline while the vamps fluttered around, hopefully too stunned by their Masters death to pay them too much attention, and then they'd go home and have a BBQ. Well maybe not that last part but the rest of it would be simple enough to pull off, if nothing horribly wrong happened. The school wouldn't blow up, Willow had considered that problem but from Buffys description of the Masters lair it was deep enough down that the worst that would happen is a few broken windows.

Buffy watched the group. The boys gearing themselves for battle, Willow wrapping crosses around their arms, Giles offering a splattering of advice and half-hardheartedly insisting that there was something fundamentally wrong about even considered allowing the two to join Buffy in the fight. She could see how Jesse fit with them, how he would have fit if he hadn't been captured the first time around. Tall, gangly, eyes almost vacant she had assumed him to be an idiot the first time around, likeable enough but an idiot all the same. Now she could see the ease of his smile, how he flirted good-naturedly with Willow as she wrapped a cross around his free hand. She saw Xander smiling, eyes bright, as the two men exchanged friendly barbs. Even if she couldn't change fate, even if Jesse somehow died tonight, she could already see how the future was changing. How this one night, with all its surprises and victories, could alter the course she'd been destined to follow. Even Giles was beginning to loosen up, his soft chuckle something that had taken her months to pull out of him the first time. She felt the tattoo thrumming in her wrists even as she finished 'gearing up.' When Jesse offered an appreciative wolf-whistle Buffy rolled her eyes, laughter making her body shake. Laughing along side her, she saw Xander take a moment to look at them all.

"We're like...the Scooby Gang." He chuckled out, a grin stretching across his features that was met by more grins all around. Buffy couldn't stop herself from placing a hand on his shoulder, the name both new and foreign. A tie between what would be and what had been.

"We ready?" She asked them, her voice deep with some emotion the others could never hope to understand. Their suddenly solemn gazes turned on her, their bodies straight, their hands grasping tight their chosen weapons. Nodding she turned away from them, took a few steps towards the door before tilting her head back at them.

"Time to go save the world."

She imagined, in her heart of hearts, what someone would see when they looked at them. She wondered at the picture they must make, a young blond girl armed to the teeth with stakes and holy water, two equally young men trailing after her covered in crosses, crossbows strapped to their backs, gasoline jugs jostling in their hands. The young red head and the old librarian standing in the background, watching them with a mixture of yearning and fear. Angel wouldn't approve, Riley would demand to be included, Spike would chuckle as he moved out of the darkness to fight at her side. _First the Master Buffy_ she scolded herself, that flash of blue in her memories making her knees temporarily weak _Focus on the Master, and keeping Angel from turning back to the dark side, then you can fantasize about Spike all you want. _Harder said than done, she knew, but Spike had never liked it when she got hurt in battle. Her blood was his and his alone, she'd be damned if the Master got so much as a sip this time around.

**_lee-_ I can honestly say it's been a challenge trying to keep Buffy balanced between who she is and who she was/will be. Unfortunately this means tons of OOC but I hope I can keep it true to the series. Thanks so much for coming back and seeing if I had continued with the story. I truly appreciate it.  
**

**_ . -_ I haven't had the chance to read that fic yet but I made sure to bookmark it so that when I have a few spare hours I can take a look. Of all the Spuffy story types there are I have to save I like the time travel/redo ones the most (obviously lol) but they just seemed to fit with the feel of the show more than the others. **

** _ginar369-_ I think it's more of a guy thing than a vamp thing but I hope you didn't think I'd be so much of a tease that i'd have him come early just to leave. ^_^ **

**Attention I am currently looking for a beta reader for this story. I would like someone who is very familiar with the show (not just with the Spike/Buffy aspects of it), can help with grammar, spelling, etc... (because gods knows I kinda suck at all that when I'm too busy/tired and desperate to write another chapter) and I'd like someone who can stick through this. I don't enjoy betas who help in the beginning and then just disappear without a word for weeks on end. **

** If you're interested please PM me.**


	7. 7- Dance

_"Looks good, doesn't it? They're trapped in here. Terrified. Meat for the beast, and there's nothing they can do but wait... That's all they've been doing for days... waiting to be picked off. Having nightmares about monsters that can't be killed. But I don't believe in that. I always find a way. I'm the thing that monsters have nightmares about. And right now...you and me are gonna show 'em why."_

_ -Buffy Summers_

Chapter 7-

Things had gone almost according to plan.

She'd managed to remember the path she had taken in her dreams down under the school. Through the dark tunnels and dank places Xander and Jesse stood behind her, shoulder to shoulder, protecting her back. Xander was watching the darkness for the slightest movements, his eyes intense and focused. Jesse mirrored his friend. There was a kind of balance to them, there behind her. For her part she had kept her eyes focused ahead of her, matching memories to reality. No vampires came from the shadows to attack them. Some, she knew, were asleep but the rest would be on the other entrance, the one she had gone through the first time. Waiting for her. So sure she was coming.

They wouldn't know what hit them.

Tense minutes later they had neared the center and Buffy had turned to give the men behind her soft instructions, mid sentence Jesse's eyes had widened in alarm and he'd reached behind him clasping the crossbow from its strap, so smoothly and quickly it was as if he'd been born to it, a quick aim and a pull of the trigger and the single vamp that had been creeping from the shadows was dust before she'd managed to turn and perceive the threat. Eyes wide she turned to question, Xander almost shaking at his side but clutching his crossbow in his free arm eyes searching warily through the shadows. Jesse grinned down at her, simple and proud.

"My pop takes me hunting." The words were said on a laugh and Buffy found herself grinning. She was so glad she'd saved him. Unfortunately that laugh alerted the dusted vamps companions and they swarmed towards them en masse. Buffy didn't let herself think, she let instinct take over.

She danced.

In a flurry of movement she rushed two vamps, jumping agilely over their reaching claws, locking hips around one even as she swung herself forward and stabbed the others heart, twisting she allowed her legs to drop as she punctured the second vamps chest. By the time her feet touched the ground she was already engaged in another tussle, three vamps coming to grab her from all sides. When one grabbed her arm on each side she spun herself around, loosing their grip and allowing her to free her arms. Her arm swung at an arch, dusting one vamp even as two bolts found their targets in the other two. Like a whirlwind of destruction Buffy danced through the ranks, any vamp missed quickly dispatched by the determined men at her back, their crosses making the vamps cower in awe and fear. It wasn't long until they were in the main room, the boys immediately grasping their gasoline cans and pouring the pungent substance all around the room, the vamps unable to attack them due to that instinctive fear the crosses gave them.

Buffy continued her dance, her eyes trained solely on ol' batface himself. Not alive, not dead stuck in between realms. She could understand his desire to free himself but could not allow his plans to come to fruition. She imagined that some distant, reluctant, part of her owed this creature something. If not for him she would never have this chance with Spike, it didn't justify Darla...or Angelus. Quicker than she had imagined she was before him, his greedy eyes confidant, arrogant.

"Welcome." His voice was cold silk, the words polite the tone hungry. It should have unnerved her but she had years of memories in her now, she had faced things that would make this feeble old vampire clutch despairingly for even a hint of the sanity that Drusilla possessed. She wasn't afraid of him, she didn't even pity him. Instead she rolled her eyes before offering him a pointed glare.

"Ahh great the pointless banter part of the fight." The quip hit him dead center, made him growl low in his throat. She didn't hesitate. She dipped down, legs shooting out to sweep him to the ground. He jumped towards her, miscalculated and landed behind her. In a flash she was on him, like she had been Angel just a few hours before. A stake pressed against his back, his heart unbeating on the other side. He turned his head, as if preparing for some barb but she didn't allow it. She pushed the stake deep and heard him scream. She held herself against his back as he turned to dust, closing her eyes to prevent the flakes from clouding her vision. Within seconds she felt her world tip, her legs straightening even as the skeleton broke apart in front of her. Before she had a chance to do anything Xander was there, Jesse shooting bolts into the backs of rapidly fleeing vamps. Xander saturated the bones with the gasoline before turning to Jesse; the boys tossed their gasoline cans as far as they could down the corridor the vamps had run to.

Without further ado Buffy found herself being hauled away, her arms locked in two different but equally harsh grips. At her sides the boys were running, full tilt, their height making it impossible for her feet to touch ground. Just as she opened her mouth to complain she heard the crackle of flames, heat washed against her back. They'd lit the gas at some point. The fire would burn through the tunnels. Twisting her arms gave her the chance to grab their forearms, lurching forward her feet found purchase and she was running. Faster than she had thought possible, dragging the men behind her. Emerging out of the tunnels just as the sky began to warm. Stopping, breathless, Buffy glanced at the boys. Jesse was lying on the ground, chest heaving; a grin a mile wide on his face. Xander was doubled over; clutching his stomach as bubbling laughter escaped him. She stared at him for a few moments until finally the three were chuckling into the night. They helped Jesse to his feet and moved back towards the school.

Shooting an innocent look at the men beside her she said, almost conversationally, "I think it's gonna be a great day."

Jesse and Xander stared after her for a moment before sharing a knowing look and ran to catch up with their Slayer.

* * *

It'd been simple enough to find himself a place to stay, one of the warehouse's previous occupants lay dead and drained on the floor. Now normally he preferred a nice beautiful girl but, as he was reluctant to face another encounter with the Slayer, he decided beggars could not be choosers.

He'd just been getting comfortable when pain split through his skull. He closed his eyes against it, his mouth twisting into a scowl. Across the link he could feel Drusilla, confused and angry yelling nonsense words at yet another dead bird. He felt Angelus heave a sigh of relief. Understood that the Slayer had done tonight what no one had thought possible. The Master was dead. Ol' Batface had finally gotten his just reward. The bloody Slayer had done it. That child had killed the Master. A chuckle escaped him. Then another until he was laughing, tears streaming down his face.

Wiping a hand across his eyes he gazed at his newly acquired surroundings, mirth danced in his eyes, a smile splashed across his face.

"That's right Slayer, get stronger. Keep winning cuz one day, soon, I'm gonna make you another notch on my belt. Maybe the best one yet." The idea of that battle, once the girl was just a bit stronger, made his blood boil. Made his beast roar in anticipation. Still chuckling his eyes found the other homeless man that had been staying in the warehouse. Smiling wickedly he watched as terror streaked across the man's face seconds before teeth punctured skin.

_This was going to be fun_

* * *

The days passed in relative peace. Her new friends still on a victory high. Even Giles was reluctant to break the mood, but he watched her with curiosity shinning behind those all seeing eyes. She knew, soon, she'd have to reveal all but, for now, she enjoyed her friends. She enjoyed her time with her mother, spending time with her each night before she had gone out patrolling. Her mother, unfortunately, wasn't ready for the truth but, with Giles' assistance, managed to convince her mother that she was attending a tutoring course he offered to students that were a little behind. Seeing this as an improvement to her burning down schools her mother had taken the lie hook, line, and sinker. Giles had also managed to convince her that, as of late, there had been a string of people that were asking to be invited into homes only to rob the owner's blind. Joyce had readily agreed that it would be unwise to invite any strangers into the house without consulting her daughter, knowing the majority of the crimes had to come from teenagers.

Thus Buffy didn't have to hide her coming and goings, making her life much easier. She knew, soon, her mother would have to be told the truth but she wanted to wait on that just a little longer. She remembered the strain the truth would cause them and wanted to enjoy the time she had. In truth her life had been damn near idyllic the last few days. Except for two things.

The first was a minor annoyance. Angel still lurked the shadows, trailing after her and offering cryptic words. Now, though, they were tempered with a kind of guarded curiosity. She knew he hadn't believed her, hadn't wanted to. He continued his pursuit of her and remained friendly, if neutral. Her attitude was surely hurting his pride but she refused to let it bother her. Angel she could handle. Which then led to problem number two...

Spike.

For days she'd felt his eyes on her. Could feel the intensity of his gaze like a caress. He flitted across her senses throughout the nights. She could feel the weight of his gaze when she patrolled, when she was with her friends, when she prepared herself for sleep but she never actually saw the blond vampire. He remained, infuriatingly, beyond sight. It had started the night after the Master had dusted and had persisted for the last three days. She had, thus far, steadfastly ignored it but now, on the fourth day, she had had enough. Fingers curling in frustration Buffy, abruptly, turned around. Her voice cracked through the silence like a whip.

"Damn it Spike if you're gonna keep this up you might as well come out." Huffing she planted her hands on her hips, "Honestly you're almost as bad as Angel."

"That's just cruel, that is. Comparing me to the Great Forehead." His voice drawled out from the darkness, somewhere to her left. Tapping her foot impatiently she raised an eyebrow in his general direction. He strolled out of the shadows and her heart caught in her throat. _He's so beautiful_. Seeing him, red shirt tight against his lean frame, coat resting heavy on his shoulders, blue eyes sharp and bright in the darkness she knew he was, hands down, the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. She couldn't allow herself to look her fill, couldn't bring herself to consider the soft, pale skin, the finely honed muscles. Those thoughts inevitably led to thoughts of slick skin, lips hungrily devouring, hands skimming.

Instead she focused on his eyes, his words. She offered him a sardonic glance.

"I call 'em like I see 'em. He stalks me, you stalk me and you're both vamps. Stop me when I'm wrong." The wicked glint in her eyes almost made him chuckle. Almost. Instead he lit a ciggy. Running the filter across his lips before taking a quick drag. In a second he was on her, his face twisting to flaunt his demon. Sharp fangs, hard planes, an animal. Still beautiful. Less than a breath separated them, his face lowered to blow acrid smoke into hers.

"Out. For. A. Walk... Bitch." He spit out, almost gleefully. Wrinkling her nose cutely Buffy raised a hand to wave the smoke away. Her green eyes glared at him as a cough escaped her. Grunting she moved past him, felt his eyes trail her. Suddenly glad she had decided on a simple black tank-top that clung to her every curve, low riding jeans hugged her taught frame and her simple sneakers completed a casual but mature look. Stopping she tilted her head back, offered him a mischievous wink, and continued on her way.

The action made him twitch. His whole body jolting towards her against his will. Growling, angry at the heat that coursed through him, he rushed her. She turned, her eyes bored, and side-stepped him. He turned, half-past her, and closed a hand around her throat, squeezing tightly.

"Better watch how you talk to me Slayer." He hissed at her. Buffy moved her arms, not to struggle, but to rest gently against his. Exasperation was evident in her eyes and, though she knew she should be afraid because this Spike could and would kill her, there was no fear.

"Were you born this big a pain in the ass?" She asked, the words coming out a little breathless. Caught of guard Spike's grip loosened. Giving the Slayer an appraising look he pulled her closer, ignoring the warning bells going off in his head.

"What can I tell you, baby? I've always been bad." Buffy smiled a second before Spikes lips crashed into hers, bruising and merciless. He attacked her lips savagely, punishingly. Buffy struggled past sudden, intense, haze of desire. She met his vicious attack with equal ferocity. Their lips melding, biting, teasing. A hand snaked around her waist, pulling her fully against him. What little sanity Buffy had struggled to acquire melted into a puddle as their bodies connected. Desperately Buffy ran her hands over his shoulder, down his chest. Her fingers struggling with the fabric of his shirt. Pulling and twisting until her hands touched cold, silk skin. Her hands traveled up under his shirt, resting against his chest even as he deepened the kiss. His hands running along her sides, fingers caresing the underside of her breasts. She moaned, soft and long. Immediately after a low growl filled the air around them.

Awareness hit her like a brick wall, stiffening she wrenched herself away from Spike. One hand reaching to cover her lips, cut and bleeding. The realization that Spike was still in full on game face came slow. Spike was licking a drop of blood from his lower lip, the few drops that had seeped into his mouth during the embrace raced like fire through his body. His head foggy. Sure he'd had Slayer blood before but never had it been so heady. So utterly delicious. Her green eyes were wide, his body was hard. Part of him wanted to pull her back into his arms, another part of him wanted to tear her to shreds and drain her dry. Before he could decide which of the two desires would emerge victorious he felt it.

Cursing he realized that there was no time to get away. Well the confrontation had to come sooner or later. He'd rather have had Drusilla with him. The thought of his love made him feel almost guilty. Sure Dru had done much worse than a little snogging every now and then but, somehow, he still felt as if he'd betrayed her. The Slayer fidgeted for a moment, fingers twisting the stolen ring around her finger. Blue clashed with green for what seemed like an eternity broken by a looming figure stalking out from the darkness.

Buffy looked at the newcomer and then at Spike, then back to the newcomer. Irritation colored her voice.

"Angel."

**universalbea- No worries i'll be explaining the faith line later on, since I have every intention of making her show up in the story ^_^ **

** twotoe- Thank you! I've been saying that for years. Spike fought for his soul and, in my book, that makes him instantly better than Angel. **

**Thank you all so much for your reviews, I truly appreciate your faithfulness to this fic. A special thanks to my new beta ginar369 with whose help I hope this fic will become even better.**

**Until next time my friends, no worries the wait won't be long.**


	8. 8- In which Angel is and idiot

_"I am a walking corpse. Her death should mean nothing to me. A pointless death amongst many others. These memories, just leftover fragments of this husk. And yet they bind me to it. Trap me in it. Before, I was a God-King above even the highest powers in the world. And for a moment, I was unleashed again. Immense. Then this ... infection again. Only this time, worse. Brought down by grief and loss ... and love. Love that I destroyed in my becoming. There should be no room in me for this. This sickness. It is endless, this regret. This emptiness where only I should remain."_

_ -Illyria_

Chapter 8-

The air was heavy with restrained rage, Buffy could almost taste it. Angel stood there, his eyes jumping between them as if hoping he had seen wrong but the blood and cuts on her lips plus a quietly smirking Spike assured the older vamp that he wasn't imagining things. She could see the wheels turning in his head, slowly at first and then racing ahead, pure Angel.

"You alright Buffy?" His voice broke through the silence, his anger showing in the Irish burr that tainted his voice. A piece of Liam, the man he had once been, breaking out through the demon and the soul. He didn't stop to hear her answer, she hadn't expected him to. Instead he turned to Spike and lunged. Spike dodged easily enough, laughing carelessly. She watched with mounting horror as the battle began to escalate. The men dodged, lunged, pummeled, and taunted. Angel keeping himself between her and Spike, trying to protect her. Two men, both of whom she had loved once upon a time.

She could understand, and even appreciate Angel's protectiveness. It was sweet but it also said that she was weak, that she could not protect herself. He had always made her feel that way and, though she'd forgiven him in her heart of hearts, it pissed her off. This vampire that loved her but couldn't believe in her, this man who insisted she was his but who had sullied his hands long before he was ever a vampire. Cursed with a soul for unspeakable acts, unable to come to terms with his demon, filled with guilt and anger. How could he ever know what was good for her?

Spike had been an annoyance, a distraction, beneath her. Why had that been she didn't know. Didn't understand that even back then, when he had been trying to kill her, she had allowed him **in her home**. She had trusted him to never come and hurt her mother and he never did. Even when he'd come back and tried to kill her again, he had never threatened those most important to her. She hadn't appreciated him, not even when things where better between them. Hadn't realized her love until it was too late.

But she wasn't the same Buffy anymore. She wasn't wearing rose colored glasses, she knew what she was doing. The memories of her other life had offered her perspective. She understood what these two men fighting in front of her were. Angel her past, Spike her future. Just like before except, this time, she only wanted Spike.

All this flashed through her mind seconds before she saw Angel push Spike into a tree, the blond laughing uproariously. He didn't see Angel reach behind him for the stake he had hidden in his back pocket. She couldn't stop the whimper that escaped her, her body moving involuntarily forward.

* * *

_Finally!_

He'd been waiting for this dance since the beginning. A chance to return the beatings, the humiliation and pain, to the one that had inflicted it. A chance to take vengeance for his Dru. The lunge hadn't caught him by surprise, in fact he had expected that lunge so completely that he burst out in laughter. Coming in closer he dodged a swipe aimed for his head and returned with a swift punch in the stomach. The blow knocked Angelus back a few steps, giving Spike the chance to move forward once again. Angelus must have expected this. He swung to the side, arm shooting out blindingly fast and knocked Spike right in the back of the head. _Hmm the Poof must be getting soft. _The blow hadn't even phased him. Swinging around Spike dropped, swinging one leg out towards the elder vamps knees. Angelus jumped up, dodging the blow. Immediately Spike rolled away, avoiding the kick Angelus had aimed his way.

Back on his feet Angelus charged him, Spike spun around him, moving faster than he had in a long time. The dance continued. Blow after blow. Angelus ramming forward, Spike dancing around. More and more brutal but Spike was winning. He was **winning**. Angelus pushed him backwards, he felt his back hit bark, the lack of pain ushering forth another laugh. A soft whimper broke through the bloodlust. Blue eyes locked on the blond Slayer, he was surprised to see her there. Expecting her to have run as soon as the first fist flew. Her eyes were wide, scared, green locking with blue in desperation and something else he couldn't name. Turning back to Angelus, stake now firmly in hand, Spike snarled. Tried to roll to the side but Angelus had a tight grip on his shirt, preventing him from moving in either direction. Glowering up at his grandsire he grinned, devil-may-care to the end.

"No." A whisper? A breath? Spike almost looked away but, instead, forced himself to watch Angelus as the stake descended. The poof wanted to kill him? Fine, but he'd look at him as he turned to dust. One more betrayal in a million. Suddenly a small, almost fragile hand, wrapped around the stake. Jerking it to the side. Blue and brown eyes widened in shock as the Slayer planted herself firmly, and protectively, in front of him. Angelus blinked, unbelieving, as Buffy ripped the stake from the older vamp's hands followed by a swift kick to the chest thus pushing him away from both blonds.

"Go Spike, go take care of her." The Slayer, Buffy, didn't turn. Her voice was frigid, her body shaking with anger. For a moment, just a moment mind you, he considered ignoring her. Standing beside her, aiding her. The thought disgusted him. _Slayer wants to take on the Forehead, fine. _The reminder of Dru made him, suddenly, yearn for her. Yearn for what he knew, twisted as it was, yearn for the one he had loved for his entire unlife. So what if the slayer made his body burn with need? So what if she saved him? Big mistake that had been, he'd kill her regardless. Might not make her suffer too much. But first he needed Drusilla, never mind that she was standing in front of him, neck tilted almost in offering, totally aware of the monster behind her. A monster still high from Slayer blood.

Wrenching away from the tree, and thus the girl, he turned to leave. Before he got too far away Buffy's voice stopped him again. "Sires blood Spike." He turned to her, looking back at her. Confusion broke under wonder. She stood, body shaking with fury, green eyes burning through the darkness. Her blond hair like silk gold in the night. The stake held before her as if daring Angelus to even think about going after him. Determination set on her face like a brand. He turned away from her, aching, refusing to even consider what that meant. Refused to think that the slayer, **THE SLAYER**, was protecting him. He didn't look back again, couldn't. If he did...

He raced away into the night. Buffy's last words echoing through him. Understanding hitting him hard and fast. Angelus, sires blood, his Dru. _Get Dru, now, get back quicker. _It made perfect sense, damn near flawless sense. The niggling feeling that said it wasn't healing Dru that made him want to get back as soon as possible but the paradox of a slayer protecting a vamp, protecting him. There was a certain William quality to the feeling, he pushed it away.

* * *

"Buffy, he's getting away!" Angel's voice was angry, hurt, confused. He looked like a lost puppy. Buffy tried, failingly, to reign in her anger. It wasn't Angels fault, not really. He didn't know what Spike meant to her, didn't understand why she wasn't helping him to kill the blond vamp. Then again he had never tried to understand her, ever. He had always tolerated the Slayer but he had wanted that girl he had seen. The innocent sucking on a lollipop, his chance for redemption. Whenever anyone or anything had threatened that ideal of her he had sought to destroy or manipulate it, never offering her the chance to voice her thoughts. Twisting her emotions and ultimately her life. He'd always been like that, even as a human Spike had told her, the demon had only enhanced what was already there.

"I let him go Angel, of course he's getting away." Buffy replied, as gently as she could manage at the moment. Admittedly it still came out harsher than she would have liked. Still holding the stake she moved closer to him. "And if you try to follow I swear to the Powers That Be I'll stake you here and now."

"Buffy." His voice bit out in the night, hurt and desperate. Oh she could see the good in him, the possibility of greatness. She wanted that for him more than she cared to admit. Despite his faults Angel had always tried to do the best he could for her, even if it meant lying and manipulating. Even if, in reality, he had always done what was best for him first. Shaking her head once, clearing the thoughts from her head, she allowed herself to stop moving.

"Angel." She replied calmly.

"Do you know who that was? He's relentless, he'll come back and the moment I'm not there he'll be after you again. He'll drain you dry just like he was trying to do before!"

_Wait wha-? _She could feel her eyes widen with incredulity. Her mouth hanging open a few moments before laughter burst out of her. Stake still held in front of her she nearly doubled over, tears of mirth escaping and rolling down her cheeks.

"You" she gasped out, "Think. He was-" Another bout of laughter escaped her, the sound both infuriating and confusing the man in front of her, "he was trying to drain me." A small chuckle and a gulping breath ended the laughter. Like flipping a switch mirth turned to serious resolve.

"Angel if he was trying to drain me he'd have gone for the neck. Explain this." She ordered him, a single finger pointing her torn lips. Angel glowered at her, she ignored it.

"Look Angel I told you that I loved you, in my dream. I told you it goes bad. As in I die bad and you go on to be a righteous prick using people like chess pieces bad. You're a good guy, somewhere in there, and I know you're trying but listen real close. If you ever" Her voice had gone deadly calm, "try to kill Spike again I'll dust you on the spot." Angel opened his mouth, probably to say something stupid or cryptic and stopped. A small smile began to stretch across his face. So she had a crush on the blond? That hurt his manly ego a bit but, ultimately, this was a good sign. Spike would try to kill her soon enough and when he, Angel, saved her she would love him like he knew she should. She was still a child, really, it was ok for her to have mixed feelings. It was expected and that she had a crush on a vampire? Even better, she wouldn't be afraid of him, wouldn't judge him.

Buffy, for her part, recognized that look. It was the Buffy's-doing-something-stupid-but-it's-ok-because -she'll-see-I-was-right-soon-enough look. She hated that look but she managed not to stake the self-righteous bastard when he put his hands up in the air and backed away, a patronizing smile on his face. Mercifully she let him walk away, confident he wouldn't go after Spike. No Angel would wait for the moment Spike tried to kill her and he would eventually try. Spike hadn't had seven years of memories dumped into his brain. He wasn't in love with her, so his very nature, his reputation would demand he try again. . She'd be disappointed in him if he didn't, not that she was happy about the idea. Poor Spike, he doesn't know what's gonna hit him.

* * *

The weeks passed steadily by. The euphoria of the Masters defeat joining with one victory after another. With the knowledge of the future Buffy found herself only altering her present in a few short incidents. Most of these changes had been minor and she desperately hoped that they would change the future for the better. A small few she allowed to happen just because, to be frank, life didn't usually offer you a rewind button. She was determined to enjoy it. One perfect example was Giles reaction to Amy's mother.

"Let me make sure I got this right. This witch is casting horrible and disfiguring spells so that she can become a cheerleader? In some misguided attempt to recapture her youth?" The incredulity on his face had damn near sent her crashing to the floor with laughter. Thankfully she and the gang had saved Amy long before Buffy had been poisoned, Buffy stealthily appropriating the trophy Amy's mother had been trapped in. Amy had eagerly joined the Scooby Gang. In part to thank them for saving her but Buffy suspected that the smile that Jesse had sent her way was the main reason for joining the gang.

Jesse had been a surprising and refreshing friend. Keeping Xander from obsessing, overmuch, about the blond slayer. Surprising Giles by stopping by the library during his breaks alongside Buffy to learn more about the world he had stepped into. Bringing Willow slowly, but surely, out of her shell with sweet words of encouragement and a steadying hand when others tried to mock her.

She wished she had been able to save him in the other life. He was sweet, sometimes embarrassingly stupid, brave, and surprisingly intelligent. He could never keep up with her, not really, but he was pushing himself in an effort to, at least, help her and pulling the others along in his wake. He had very nicely slid into the place as her second in command. His very existence proof to her that she really could change things. That this crazy thing that had happened really had a chance.

Alas all good things must come to an end. It started slow. Curious looks as she studied in the library, questions burning behind every word, a kind of wariness that desperately tried to understand. She'd been a little surprised when her Watcher asked her to meet him after school, alone. She'd gone expecting a firing squad but instead was met simple silence. Giles stood, surrounded by open books and simply stared. Coughing softly into a cupped hand she cleared her throat.

"So Giles what's the stitch?" She tried to sound as casual as possible and Giles had responded with a soft derisive huff. Turning he made a show of glancing at the books around him.

"Buffy." He started and she could feel her shoulders slump in defeat. No putting it off anymore it seemed.

"I have been researching Slayer dreams, forgive me but there is absolutely no evidence to explain the strength of your knowledge. Prophetic dreams are confusing at best. So, tell me, what is truly happening." He sounded so worried, she almost felt guilty. Sighing softly she proceeded to sit down, inviting him to do the same. Thankfully she had prepared for this, she just hated that it happened so soon.

"I'm not entirely sure Giles." She said, helplessly.

Leaning forwards in his seat the watcher placed a single, comforting hand on her shoulder. "When, exactly, did this event occur?"

"Right after I burnt my school down. I was sleeping, badly. I was so worried about what was happening, the cops wanted to talk to me, the rents were freaking out, I was freaking out. I'm not sure what woke me but I remember catching my reflection in the mirror. It was me but it wasn't. I looked older, wrong, my eyes were blue. Then there was a sharp pain and boom!" Her hands shot up in the air mimicking an explosion, bringing her hazel/green eyes up to meet his blue ones, she offered a weak smile.

"It hurt so bad, like I was being torn apart and then I heard a voice and all at once it stopped hurting. The memories hit me so quickly I passed out."

Giles stood, taking a few steps away from her and back, reflexively cleaning his glasses as he paced. He stopped, once, to stare at her. Mouth opening to form a question before it clamped shut, strong enough she could hear his teeth click painfully against each other.

"I dreamed of Sunnydale. Of you and Xander and Willow. I dreamed a whole lifetime and when mom first started talking about this place I almost wanted to run away. I couldn't though, I felt like this was the chance to stop as many of those bad things that happened the first time."

"Ff-first time? Buffy you are speaking of something impossible. Very few beings have the strength send someone to the past."

Buffy almost chuckled at that, "You'd be surprised. Besides I didn't get sent back to the past, it's just me in here. Fifteen year old Slayer Buffy Summers. There's no other me running around out there." She promised him.

"But then?"

"I think...I think the other me. The first one died. I think that somehow all her memories were given to me. I don't know how or even why but, so far, they've been right. They helped me save Jesse and stop Amy's mom before she had a chance to hurt anyone else. They were right about Ripper." She felt bad for that last part. Hating how Giles bowed his head in shame and guilt. Rising she moved to his side, one hand coming up to grip his arm tight. When he looked at her she offered him a soft smile.

"Hey it's ok Giles. Teenage angst, trust me we all get it. I can't even begin to tell you all the stupid things I did in that other life."

"Buffy" He responded patiently but grateful, "You realize you're speaking about another dimension?" Buffy chuckled softly, loosening her grip.

"Well duh. If it was my future, this future, the moment those memories hit me everything would've changed. So much that I might not have sent the memories the second time around and if I didn't do that how could I have changed anything in the first place?" Her analysis, while lengthy, was accurate. Giles found himself reaching for a chair. After settling himself he removed his glasses, wiping his hands over his face as he tried to understand the situation. Buffy gave him a few moments, settling herself across from him and waiting patiently before he finally removed the hand from his face. Replacing his glasses he studied her. Nodding, more to himself than her.

"Tell me everything." He implored. Buffy considered, for a moment, how much she should tell him. It occurred to her, briefly, that she shouldn't reveal too much of anything but she refused to keep this secret. She was sure, positive, that secrets would destroy them all in the end. Bring about the future the first Buffy had suffered through, the future that had destroyed them all. Instead she decided to start with what she thought would be the most distressing revelation for the watcher.

"Well first I'm...kindainlovewithWilliamthebloodyhe'savampirea ndhe'skilledtwoslayers." Buffy rushed out, trying to get this particular argument over as soon as possible. She'd been prepared for him to bellow, forbid, guilt, or even voice his disappointment in her. She had not expected him to suddenly lose all color, making him almost as pale as a vamp. Nor had she expected the half-gurgled nonsense that spilled from his lips a moment before he crashed to the floor. Buffy stared at her fallen Watcher.

"That went better than I expected."

**KittenOfDoomage- Hehe I'm absolutely thrilled that you enjoy my story so much. Thank you for the compliment though I'm sorry I caught you at work ^_^**

**darkeyesgirl- Really? That would make an interesting read. I wish I had been allowed to write essays like that. My teachers weren't always that broad minded.**

**CailinRu- Well it would be boring if they got together too soon. That and, though I love Spuffy redo fics, there were few that showed how Spike would struggle through this. No chip, no reason not to kill, no soul. He's struggling with even the thought of loving Buffy. I'm a little evil, I admit it.**

**A special thanks to my beta ginar369 because I am a terrible speller (and, well, ginar's awesome)**

**And a huge thank you to all those who've reviewed. You guys are really making me wish I didn't have to work so much so I could post more often. Alas life is never that easy.**


	9. And the truth will set you free

_"You were a young fool who felt immortal, did remarkably ill-advised things, and it cost people their lives, eh? You bloody idiot. That doesn't disqualify you from being a watcher. It makes you perfectly suited to mentor a slayer. They're young girls granted tremendous power. Who can relate to them better? A man like your father, who's done the right and proper thing his entire life? Or you?"_

_-Edna To Giles_

Chapter 9-

"Careful"

"Sorry." Buffy pressed the ice pack she had scrounged up, lightly against Giles head. He had come around only a few minutes after going down, unfortunately he nicked the side of his head on a chair leg on the way down. He'd managed to stand, barely, but followed as she directed him to a chair. Flopping down on it gratefully, she left him to think and searched for a cup of water and a Tylenol. By the time she came back Giles looked much better, still in pain but better. He accepted the water and pill half-heartedly. Buffy smiled gently down at him before settling in the chair across from him.

"So...?" She began.

"So..." He countered smoothly.

"I told you I, Buffy Summers, Slayer of all evil thingies, are in love with William the Bloody, one quarter of the Scourge of Europe, Hundred-something year old Vampire, Slayer of Slayers, commonly known as Spike."

Giles went pale and Buffy braced herself against the accusations, the guilt-trips, the general 'vamps are evil' and 'are you insane?' bits that were sure to erupt from her Watcher at any moment. When one long minute passed, then two more, Buffy felt herself relaxing. Giles was dead silent, watching her with a kind of intensity she had seen precious few times in her life. Consideration.

"So...?" Buffy tried again. Giles glance at her before turning his gaze from her. There was a beat of silence and then, "These...Feelings, they began before or after your dream?"

"After." She answered honestly.

"Buffy...You need to believe you can trust me. Can you do that?"

Buffy rose, affronted, "Of course I trust you Giles. I've always trusted you." His eyes watered, always sentimental. Oh she had missed this Giles so much. The Giles she had seen scraps of every now and then, less often after the First. Kneeling at his side she grabbed his hand tight in her own, "What do you need me to do?"

"The truth."

So she did.

She told him how in her first life the Master had killed her, how she'd picked Angel and unleashed Angelus. She told him of Amy and Willows descent to darkness. She told him about the Initiative and the chip. Told him of the Cruciamentum, meeting the First Slayer, Glory, going to Heaven...being ripped back down. She told him how they'd all abandoned her. All of them but Spike, always at her side. Always keeping her sage. The ying to her yang, testing her and pushing her and accepting her despite it all. She told him of his sacrifice, told them what his fate would be. What all of their fates would be. Not enough details for him to alter much, no specifics. Enough to consider the consequences of the now. To avert that disastrous ending in which they lived empty lives, slowly turning into all the things they hate most because everything that was good was being ripped away.

He sat silent through it all, twitching only once. He took the time to consider and match everything she had done with everything she had said. The problem lay in that she didn't look the part of a wary woman who'd endured only to be forced to endure again. No Buffy looked positively delighted. She had managed to surprise him at every turn, taking charge, ending a threat before it hurt anyone, knowing them all as she did. Knowing his favorite book, pointing out Willows magic (and it was **there**. The potential was there). Things she couldn't possibly have known about them and yet, she did.

So was this Buffy dangerous? Would he subject her to the Councils judgment? She was in love with a vampire. Admitted she had once loved another. She had been intimate with them, tainted by them, her ability to see the black vs. the white gone. She saw grays. It was inconceivable to his mind. There was evil and there was good. Nothing could exist in between and yet...This Angel had a soul, Buffy had informed him, even now. Does that make him good? He rather thought not. Perhaps the souled vampire was trying to achieve redemption but Giles did not believe he ever could. Not when he hadn't earned it, hadn't wanted it. Giles would have to keep an eye on this Angel then, just in case. He'd read about Angelus and a better representation of evil he'd never found.

Of this Spike, William, he'd read nothing. Had probably, at the time, not considered it important. But if he had, indeed, killed two slayers why then would he ever join with a third? Even with the chip, while stopping him from hurting people physically, would have easily allowed him to poison them, hire others to kill them. There'd been a plethora of options available to him. Yet he would stay? No, that was hard to believe. All of this was hard to believe.

He should report her. End her before she destroyed herself and others and yet...She had placed her trust in him. Even knowing his history, even after what she had said he would become (and he could see how that could happen. The man he had been in that other life had been too rigid. Needed control. Over the last months Giles had watched, in amazement, as children allied themselves to the Slayer and won. Every night they won. So perhaps he was a bit more open-minded). The faith she must have in him to do what is right, despite all the crimes he supposedly committed, was touching.

And it was not the trust of a child. It was the trust between equals. She sat there, eyes downcast as if waiting judgment. She looked very much alone. To be trapped between what is and what once was, trying to achieve what could be. He could not leave her alone in this. Clearing his throat he leaned forward and grasped her hand. Her hazel green eyes warily rose.

"We should, perhaps, begin a more rigorous training routine. Yes?"

Buffy let the words roll over her, let the assurance in his voice soothe her. She smiled softly and nodded.

* * *

Her Willy had returned. Ran away from the rays of light that cloaked the fires of Hell. Returned without Daddy Miss Edith said. Oh how the stars were twirling, round and round. Changing. She could see, yes, there and there. Choices and possibilities. Her life flying up in the sky with Anne's face. She flinched, cold arms held her tight, a whispered plan.

Oh yes her William had come back but he wasn't all hers anymore was he? The birdies were dead and all the little children cried. Daddy would come and make things better but first she had to make him better. Daddy or Willy? But William wasn't all hers anymore. Someone had taken him. A monster that would never stop. She could see it but she couldn't understand it. She could feel him clutching her closer and raised her lips against his. Trailing her lips against his cheek and neck, sucking lightly. With a guttural growl she plunged her fangs into him, ripping the blood viciously from him. Pressed her hand against his mouth to stop the words that were still flowing.

"Shhhh no Willy. Miss Edith sent the darkness to destroy the sun. Itty bitty little one and the wolf, so sad. Don't cry." She moved as if to wipe unshed tears from his eyes, "Daddy will make it better. You'll see, right Miss Edith? Once the sun dies."

* * *

It was her birthday and no one had said anything. Well they had said hello but otherwise she hadn't gotten so much as one happy birthday. As a matter of fact it was like everyone was avoiding her. She had called Willow and Amy to see if either of them had wanted to go shopping with her but both had claimed to be busy. So she had tried Xander who had promptly told her that he couldn't talk to her and hung up with no other word of explanation. Even Jesse and Giles were avoiding her like the plague. She was almost desperate enough to call Angel. Not that she would, that would be opening a whole nother can of worms. So it was a dejected Buffy who arrived home from her solo trip to the mall. Her mother offered nothing more than a curt nod before turning back to her show. Sighing Buffy made her way to the kitchen, feeling the need for a carton of ice-cream.

She hadn't expected to see all her friends surrounding the kitchen table. The table itself laden with gifts and a simple birthday cake. They smiled openly at her.

"Happy B-day Buffster, what did ya think we'd forget?" Xander asked as he reached her side, wrapping on arm around her shoulders to guide her to the rest of them. Her mother trailed behind them, chuckling gently at her daughter's bewilderment. In no time Jessie and Xander had started a barbeque, Giles and her mother trading stories, Willow encouraging her to open her presents, Amy gently teasing. It was perfect.

The doorbell rang.

Buffy excused herself before walking to the door. Opening it to find no one. She took a few steps forward, frowning.

"Who is it dear?" Her mother's voice called out.

"No one mom. Just some stupid pra- Oomph!" She was flying through the air, something pulling her from the doorway. She landed with a grunt but whipped to her feet immediately. Around her were three beings she recognized. Growling in frustration Buffy stomped her foot.

"Really!? On my birthday?" They didn't speak, only attacked. Buffy dodged the first fist, jumping up to avoid a kick to her knees, felt one of them grab her foot. Twisting her body she placed her hands against the ground, using all her strength to flip that one over her body and releasing her foot. The three chuckled.

"Buffy?" She heard her mother moving closer. Suddenly terrified she called out as loud as she could.

"GILES DON'T LET HER COME OUTSIDE!" Her mother continued to call her, panicked now. Her voice was cut off abruptly, the sound of something shattering urging the three forward. One of them managed to get her by the throat. One knee surged upwards; the vamp released her and bent over in pain. She turned only to see him break apart into dust. Standing next to him was Willow, her hands trembling. Before Buffy could call out a warning another one of the three rushed the young witch. She felt arms grab her from behind and lift her off her feet.

She twisted and turned in the vamps arms. She heard struggling in Willows general direction. She pulled herself down, letting the vamp wrap his arms around her throat. In one swift motion she kicked one leg upwards, hitting the vamp in the head and making him lose his grip. She turned to look for Willow only to see Jessie and Amy pulling her to safety while Xander tossed her the stake he had just used to kill the second vamp. Catching it she dropped to the ground, avoiding the last vamps swipe. She tangled her legs with his, pushed making him lose his balance. She rose as if to catch him, pushing the stake deep into his falling form. He landed on the ground in an explosion of dust.

Brushing off the dust that covered her shirt Buffy turned back to her friends. All safe. Xander chuckled nervously, "Guess it's a good thing we've been training with you huh Buffy?"

She couldn't help but laugh, "Definitely." She agreed. Her laughter came to a halt the moment her mother appeared in the doorway, her clothes in disarray from when Giles tackled her to the ground. Giles himself standing behind her holding his broken glasses and what would soon be a black eye.

"Buffy Summers you tell me what is going on here." Her mother ordered after a minute of quiet shock. _Well_ Buffy though sardonically _at least this time I've got back-up_.

"Well, mom," She tried to sound compliant, hoped it would get her out of the trouble she knew was coming, "I'm a vampire Slayer."

**Redglade- I'm very glad you're enjoying the story. I'll try to make sure you can stay happy with this story, just be prepared for a few moments of serious hatred for me. It's Buffy, heartache happens.**

** AGriffinWriter- I always sympathized with Angel when I was younger. Then Spike hit the scene and I was in love. I also couldn't stand the idea of writing bratty Buffy, I'm glad everyone likes the compromise between the cannon version of her and mine. Woot! I might just have a thing for picking on Giles. Can't help it he was always so stuffy. **

**BeneficialAddiction- I won't lie it hurts to write Spike so confused...A little. The rest of me is having too much fun mixing that confusion with his usual 'i'm the Big Bad' personality. Twisted I know but so much fun. **

**KittenOfDoomage- Truth be told I always figured that he would've joined the Gang anyway if he'd survived. Putting him as second in command wasn't something I originally planned. It just sort of happened and once I thought about it I realized it just...Fit.**

**Once more a huge THANK YOU to my beta aka The awesomeness that is Ginar. Wonderful advice and wonderfully helpful, I tip my hat to you.**

**And for everyone else out there who has been reading (and reviewing) this story: **

**I've haven't even gotten started yet.**


	10. To change a world

_"The thing about changing the world... Once you do it, the world's all different._

_-Buffy_

Chapter 10-

"Excuse me?"

Oh Buffy soooo did not like that tone. She found herself cringing at her mother's unflinching stare, clearly waiting for her answer. Her friends were, unfortunately, just as shell-shocked as she was. How, exactly, was she suppose to explain this? Jesse, Xander and Willow were fidgeting in their own little corner of the front yard. Amy was positioning herself closer and closer to the front door, ready to break into a run. Giles was standing not one foot behind her mother, mouth opening and closing uselessly. Frowning she tried to meet her mothers eyes.

"I'm a Vampire Slayer mom."

Her mother had seemed angry before but now her eyes had widened considerably, her hands falling from their place at her hips to hang by her sides, fingers curling, her mouth hung open in incredulous disbelief.

"Really?" Her mother's voice was tight with rage. Buffy took an involuntary step back, she had a perfect memory of how this had gone before: Not good. Proof would help and part of her desperately hoped that Angel would appear, do something good with his stalking for once. Sadly she didn't sense him anywhere near. She was scared. If her mother had been yelling or screaming she could've handled it. This quiet rage was something all together different. It meant she was in deep shit. _Time to face the firing squad._

"Look, mom, I know you think I'm joking or deranged or whatever but I need you to listen to me. Please." Her mother raised a single eyebrow but remained quiet. Buffy took this as a sign to continue.

"You remember when the school burned down? You know I did that but I lied as to why. The school was infested with vampires and it was the only way I could kill them all. I never said anything because, well let's be honest, you would've sent me to a crazy house. Then we moved but this place sits on a Hellmouth. Literally. Underneath this town is Hell and all sorts of monsters have been coming out of the woodwork. You wouldn't believe what I've been dealing with. I've had to kill everything from vampires to bugs! And please let's not talk about the bugs cuz that was just icky." She tried to end it with a laugh that came out much drier than she had intended. Her mother continued to stare at her for a moment before sighing in exasperation. With quick movements her mother had her hand placed against her daughters head, checking her temperature, studying her eyes. Realization hit and Buffy backed away, snarling.

"Damn it mom I'm not on drugs!"

"Well what do you expect me to think Buffy? Vampires? Really? I don't know what's going on but I will not be lied to! Just be honest with me!"

Part of her wanted to curl in on itself. She hated when she argued with her mom, it always made her feel like a petulant little child. It didn't help that she had a whole life's worth of memories in which her mother had died. A life of pain and regret. Her mother had continued yelling at her at some point but Buffy wasn't listening anymore. She knew what her normal reaction would be; to yell back, fling hurtful words, abandon her mother and her duty. That had been the road she had taken once and it would be so easy to follow that road again. Too easy.

The Buffy she had been before, the one whose memories she now possessed, was bitter. She was disillusioned and incapable of being happy. That Buffy wanted to do whatever her mother wanted anything to have a few precious memories. She lived on the scraps, whatever she could get.

It was strange, this moment. Her mother yelling, her friends ranged around her unsure of how to come to her defense, and she realized that she didn't have to choose the bitter Buffy or young Buffy. There was another option, a better one. An option she had never considered before.

"Mom." Her voice was calmer than she had ever managed her tone absolutely flat. Her mother abruptly cut off tirade, head tilting with the tiniest smidgeon of curiosity. Buffy smiled gently as she reached for her mother, hugging her tightly. Her mother hesitated for a moment before returning the embrace. After a few moments Buffy pulled away, lacing one hand with her mothers.

"I know it's hard for you to understand or accept. I get that. You're worried, scared, I mean I just turned 16...today!" She took a breath, squaring her shoulder and looking straight into her mother's eyes.

"It doesn't matter if you don't understand Mom but I need you to trust me. Believe in me, because no matter what you do this is my destiny and there's no running away from it or hiding from it. I can't throw it away and I can't give it away. I'm trapped." The word came out in a whisper. She'd never wanted this, never asked for it. Not this time or the time before.

Her mother sighed, not wanting to believe anything she was hearing but her daughter, _her daughter_ was standing in front of her. Standing in front of her and asking her for the one thing she should never have to ask for: Trust. Faith.

"Oh Buffy of course I trust you baby but...Trapped baby? No. No there has to be something."

Buffy shook her head gently, "The only way to get rid of it is to die." Her mother looked suitably horrified, her eyes pooled with unshed tears. She clutched at Buffy, a vain effort to protect her from the world. Buffy allowed this for a moment before pulling away completely. Smiling she looked at her friends, one by one, before turning her gaze back to her mother.

"It's hard and it'll hurt, it'll be dangerous and I might die. I'm trapped in this destiny but, Mom, I don't fight alone. I've got things that no Slayer before me has ever had: I have friends to stand by me, to help me. I have a life full of challenges and adventure. I have a home to come back to and I have someone waiting for me, believing in me, accepting me as I am. I have you."

The tears had come unbidden to her eyes but she did nothing to stop them. This had hurt, bearing her soul, being calm. It wasn't in her nature. She was the fight or flight kind of person. She had never been one to express what she felt or even why. This was new territory for her but, she was beginning to think, and it was the best place for her to be. She didn't want to struggle between what had been and what she should be. The idea to simply be who she wants despite what others said was liberating.

"But." Her voice had taken on a hard edge, "Understand that I won't try to be anyone I'm not. I can't be the normal teenager for you mom and I can't be the perfect Slayer. I'm going to make mistakes and those mistakes might cost a lot but I'm only human. I need all of you to accept that."

Her mother rushed her, wrapped her tight in her arms. Buffy relaxed against the warm embrace, not even caring that the button on her mothers pink blouse was digging into the bridge of her nose. She felt Giles' hand against her back and turned in her mother's arms.

"Mistakes will happen Buffy but I am confident that we can overcome them."

"Thank Giles." She answered gratefully.

Willows tentative voice rose through the air from somewhere to her left, "Yyyaa Buffy, I mean as long as we're together we can get through it. Right?"

"That's right Will. Besides we've got the Buffster training us hard. Pretty soon we'll be kicking demon ass like Slayers." Xander elbowed Willow in the side, gently, flashing a quick smirk.

"Remind me who it was that staked himself in the foot?" Jesse laughed out. Xander turned, glared.

"That was a spell, I'm telling you man. Amy was just pissed I didn't get her anything for her birthday!"

"Me?" Amy asked sweetly, "You did forget and it did heal. We're even."

Buffy and the rest laughed as Xander and Amy began bickering. Life was good.

* * *

Things had been going well the last two months. A peace, of sorts, had come over the town. Giles had, under Buffy's suggestion, had called in an old friend who, in turn, had begun teaching both Willow and Amy how to use their magic...And about consequence. This meant the girls could only attend two or three training sessions a week but they had all agreed, in light of the memories possessed from a future life, that controlling their magic was more important than they're ability to throw a punch.

Not to say the girls were weak. Oh no. Amy hadn't much liked hand to hand combat, but stick a sword in the girls hand and she was a beast. Swords had come to her like a duck to water. She couldn't beat Buffy but she was the only one that could consistently hurt the slayer. She had even managed to en-spell her favorite sword so that it would return to her if she lost it in battle. The spell wasn't very strong, it would only work if the sword was within a ten foot radius of her but it was a nifty trick.

Willow had been a bit more difficult. Her natural shyness making her almost incapable of wielding any sort of weapon without fumbling it. Buffy had thought, from past experience, that she would be just as horrible at hand-to-hand. She was glad she hadn't bet on that. Willow had an affinity for Goju-Ryu Karate and was swiftly learning the Kra style of fighting from her next door neighbor, a retired instructor from Florida who was part of the Israeli Krav Maga Association. As she had improved both physically and magically she had begun to break out of her shell. Confidant, strong but still the same sweet Willow that she had always been.

The boys had made their life goal defending the world. Giles had, blatantly and joyfully, lied to the council and requested more funds due to the fact that his Slayer just wasn't getting the right amount of training. They had balked at the number but in the end had agreed if only because Giles had gushed about how well she was at taking instruction (Which, of course, they took to mean she was the perfect little brainless soldier). The money, and the connections, had allowed him to bring in a total of five, **five**, martial arts instructors from around the world. Finding the instructors room and board hadn't been difficult but it was expensive. The five men had been promised that their stay would be free. As was their food, their travel expenses, and anything else they might need. They were there for only a short few months before responsibility called them back home.

Jesse trained exclusively with an old, silent, Filipino man in the art of Eskrima. Buffy had no idea what that was but when he had downed a Zherneboh demon (Tall, gangly, its hands bound in chains, its skin slick with slime that slowly paralyzed the body.) with nothing more than a stick she had been impressed.

Xander however took three instructors for himself. Kick-boxing was his favorite by far. He had a flair for mixing the Thailand Muy Thai and the Peruvian Vacon into the deceptive normalcy of his kick-boxing. He still landed on his ass more times then he could count but it was beginning to take at least two of his masters to do it. Giles took on the last instructor himself and Jenny, being the only two with the innate spirituality needed for the obscure Wing Chun. Buffy, on the other hand, took time with each of the instructors.

Within just a few months the group had gone from bumbling children to spirited and dedicated warriors. The change was gradual, their skills slow in growing when compared to the strength of their instructors, but it was noticeable. It was in how they moved, in their calm, in the tenseness of their shoulders as night came down, in the way they relaxed only with each other. Yet their personalities were the same as ever. They still smiled and laughed, still got annoyed and frustrated.

Things were good and Buffy couldn't help but wonder when the next nightmare would jump out of the darkness to get them.

Said darkness had come not two weeks later. Of course, at the time, Buffy had been cursing her brilliant plan to train her friends. The first time around Xander had been hungry, starved for her and strong. This time the damn Hyena spirit had more to work with; he had Xander's newfound skills and all the strength of a body that had been sculpted for battle. She was stronger, true, but that alone wouldn't have saved her this time. She had responded on instinct and only now, in the aftermath, did she see the wisdom in Giles demand that she train with all of their instructors. It meant that as a group they were unpredictable it also meant that alone, against them, she would survive.

Xander had apologized, again and again. She still refused to talk to him. She was pissed. Oh not that it was entirely at him, she was plenty mad at herself. She should have been paying attention to the time frame. Should have realized what was happening sooner, thankfully she'd figured it out in enough time to save Mr. Flutie. She felt bad for the little piglet though. Saving the principal meant that Xander was able to get the drop on her. After beating him to hell and back she'd dragged his sorry ass back to the zoo, along with the rest of the possessed teens that the others had captured. The rest had been short work. Things could have gone worse, much worse, if she hadn't figured things out in time. It didn't make her any less angry at herself.

It definitely didn't make her any less angry at Xander. Eventually she managed to confront him about the situation. The first time he had claimed no memory of his attempted rape, this time she'd describe it to him. The pain, the fear, the agonizing realization that her **friend** was trying to violate her. She wasn't cruel about it, wasn't cold, but she'd be damned if she let this crush of his, and his inability to consider his own inner darkness, destroy his life like it had before. She made herself absolutely, positively and completely clear. She told him her heart belonged to one man, and only one man. A man named Spike and that she could never love him, never want him, as anything more than a brother. She explained that the blame was not supernatural but wholly on him. The hyenas had provided a means but the thought was his, the idea, the impulse buried somewhere deep within his heart. The shame and disgust that enveloped him had made her flinch. She had forgiven him then and the two had talked well into the night. Their friendship mended.

* * *

He didn't understand. Couldn't understand.

What had happened to the innocent, vulnerable girl he had seen? The girl whose light had dragged him from the sewers and the gutters and the rats? She was, finally, within his reach and she was further than ever. When he patrolled with her she smiled and laughed, she chatted amicably and bound herself to him in friendship. He enjoyed it, loved her with every fiber of his being and hated every minute of it. She didn't deserve this life; she deserved a normal life and a normal family. It hurt to see her in danger, hurt to think of her vibrant light being brutally cut off one day. The idea that she could be taken from him, to a place he could never follow, was agony. He lived in perpetual fear of that day and yet she didn't seem to give a damn.

She had trained herself and, against his better judgment, trained her friends. She had created warriors to surround herself with, weaker warriors that she could defeat if they turned on her. Why couldn't she see the flaw in that? They were weaker, had to be weaker, so she could be safe from them along with every monster that came her way. She couldn't trust them. She could trust **him. **He was the only one who could keep up with her, the only one who wouldn't turn on her.

He'd been investigating his curse, in as much as he could without leaving Sunnydale. He'd been horrified to find that his soul was, indeed, unstable. The thought that Angelus could return made him uncomfortable, unsettled twitchy. He found no evidence that his soul would leave him if he was happy and knew that someone, probably Spike, had fed her that bit of nonsense.

Spike. That was another problem. He had imagined, once Spike was gone, that her crush on the younger vampire would wane but he saw no evidence of this. Instead it seemed her feelings for the peroxide vamp grew stronger. For weeks he'd been trying to charm her, to claim her but she sidestepped his every advance. She refused him, repeatedly, and claimed that she didn't love him or want him. That he was her friend and nothing more. She'd also said she had loved him once, that they had been together once. All he needed to do was prove to her they could be together without consequence. He had gone to her home, just to watch, and had heard her up in her room. A breathy sigh, a name slipping from her mouth with such tender love that it ached. Not his name, Spikes name. Spike's.

She didn't know how dangerous he was, refused to listen when he tried to warn her. He'd been considering this for awhile now but had hoped that he could break through her childish infatuation himself. Sighing he prepared himself for what he would have to do. It was for the best, really, she was still young. She'd thank him when she was older, when she knew how much he'd done for her.

**valerie21601- A great thanks to one of my most loyal fans. I love reading your reviews and hope I don't disappoint.**

**Redglade- I have the same problem. I love redo Spuffy fics but it hurts to see either of them take to each other so quickly after all they've been through. Even if only one of them had the memories of the pain, insults and general degradation. And Spike? Please he's as stubborn as they come.**

**KittenOfDoomag- Spike and Dru ^_^ I have plans. Evil, horrible, "I'm a horrible human being' plans... **

**A great big THANK YOU to ginar369 who managed to get this chapter back to me in just a few hours. You are awesome!**

**Another Thanks for all you readers out there not too worry pretty soon this is gonna get _good._**


	11. Change of the Tide

_"You can't blame a girl Spike. You're all covered with her. I look at you...All I see is the Slayer."_

_-Drusilla_

Chapter 11-

The last six months had been Hell.

Internet demons, talking puppets, invisible girls, Cordelia and nightmares made real. The first few had been easy enough, her memories giving her an advantage she used to ensure more lives were saved. After being hunted by an invisible vengeance-seeking teenager Cordelia had joined the gang. Like before she was a thorn in their collective sides but she was a welcome one. She was more...understanding in this life, less of a bitch. The nightmares had been the worst, since the night the memories had come rushing into her she had only ever feared one thing: Spike's death and, to a lesser extent, failing in saving her friends from their awful future. She'd managed to wake Billy up much earlier this time and, thus, managed to avoid those fears come to life but she had been jumping at shadows the whole time.

She was worried about him. She missed him, wanted to see him. When school ended she had toyed with the idea to go off to find him but had decided against it in the end. He'd come to her, sooner or later, she didn't doubt that. She'd also refrained from going back to L.A. for the summer.

She had spent her days with her friends and her family. The gang had trained, diligently. Even Cordelia had gotten into it, once Buffy had made it into a competition between them. The brunette had rose to the challenge and had rapidly proved her worth, even if she was still an obnoxious snob most days. Jenny had taken her mother under her wing. Joyce was learning right along with the Scooby gang. Angel had even backed off a bit, being a perfect gentleman and friend. She still found herself being careful around him, holding back. She didn't trust this, didn't trust him.

She had, however, managed one huge accomplishment that summer. It had taken time and effort and endless patience but in the end she had done the impossible. In her other life she had been vaguely aware of the demon network in her town. This time she was intent on using it. She knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that not all demons were evil. Many just wanted to live their lives in peace which is why they tended to avoid Slayers. She couldn't blame them, the council had ensured that Slayers would be incapable of seeing any demon as anything other than a monster for as long as they could remember. She had had to go down into the ick and the dark to find the Patnja demons that lived in the sewers. They were childlike in size, with mottled green/gray skin and eyes like snakes. They had a nifty little ability to blend into their surroundings and a knack for sniffing out information. They were scavengers and relished in the taste of the dead but abhorred the taste of the living.

Once she had gained their trust she had offered them a deal, they could have all her kills and her protection in return for information on all activity within the town. They'd accepted and had provided her with a network of information that had far exceeded her expectations. It was a resource she was glad to have. Information could be hard to come by in Sunnydale. Willy the Snitch was notoriously unreliable you couldn't be sure that what he was telling was the truth or not. Even if you did pop him in the nose first.

School began with the nasty revelation that Principle Flootie had resigned his position, no doubt because of the bouts of weirdness that had plagued the school all last year. Mr. Snyder had replaced him, of course, but this time he had no reason to single her out. Her grades were top notch, model student, and if there were a few strange rumors about her here or there he didn't seem to pay them any mind. The biggest change in these last months was a tie between Willow and Giles. Giles was still stuffy, still all Watcher-y but there was a distinct Ripper quality in him now. A sort of lazy predatory grace that outlined his every movement. Giles had become something of a bad boy while still managing to stay the same quirky librarian he'd always been.

Willow had bloomed. She walked with a confidence now that commanded attention, she had grown into her powers and where once she had been shy and unsure she was now capable and uncaring of people's opinion of her. She was as sweet as could be unless someone endangered her friends. Her new 'pissed off' face made a mockery of her 'determined' one. It had surprised even Buffy when Willow walked straight to where Oz stood at his locker at school one morning. She had watched, shocked, as Willow had sweetly and hopefully asked him to play her favorite song at the Bronze that night. Oz had fallen for her hard and fast. He, too, was now part of the gang and undergoing his own training. Buffy hadn't bothered to try to stop that particular relationship. Her gut told her that no matter what some things would have to happen, good or bad, and she should just enjoy the time she had with them all.

So here she was, three months into school, and waiting for the other shoe to drop. The Master was gone, the Annoying one had never been created and Sunnydale had not just a Slayer to protect it, it had a growing army of people fighting at the Slayers side. Which meant, of course, that they were due a new Big Bad.

* * *

"Ashes." Drusilla pulled away from him, spitting in disgust. Spike stood stock still, wary. Since his return his princess had flitted between stifling closeness and maniacal rage. He had enjoyed it, at first, it had banished all thoughts of the Slayer from his mind. He'd been too busy trying to survive Dru to think about soft, warm curves or her body pulled against his so tightly he'd been able to feel the pebbling of her nipples through his clothes. He couldn't find time to remember her thighs against his, her core pressing against his cock as she promised to show him things he had never dreamed of before.

That had changed one night. Drusilla had been pawing at him, pulling at his clothes with strange desperation. He had taken her hard against a wall, her quivering diner pulling at his chains as Spike ripped Dru's clothes off and slammed into her right next to the struggling man. She had been moaning and scratching and he was desperate to feel something, anything, when he saw the Slayer in his minds eyes. He flipped Dru around without thinking, or caring, as his mind's eye changed Dru's pale skin to a honeyed tone. One hand traveled to her hip, crushing her back against him punishingly. His eyes closed as his other hand tangled into blond hair. He forced her head to the side, found her lips without looking and silenced the moans with a bruising kiss. He'd bent her over at some point, opened his eyes to watch his cock slide in and out of her sheath, bent her further and further down. Unable to stop himself, unable to accept that he was fucking Dru and not the Slayer.

The realization hadn't stopped him and when he felt his body tightening, he bellowed out the Slayers name as his hips jerked wildly until he was spent. Dru hadn't said a word after it was over, she had simply walked over to the struggling man in chains and drained him dry. He wanted to laugh, how sick was he? Vampire lusting after the Slayer. Here he was, King of his domain with his beautiful Dru at his side and what had he just done? He'd imagined he was fucking the slayer. Twisted is what it was. He tried desperately to put it out of his mind.

Except he couldn't. He kept dreaming about her. Kept thinking about how she had protected him from Angelus, how she had pulled him against him as if he was something precious. He heard her voice, whispering to him. He dreamed of things that had never happened, things he knew would never happen. He dreamed he was engaged to the Slayer, that he saved the world for her. That he died for her.

Dru kissed him every chance she got and every time she had pulled away just as she had done this time. Always saying he tasted like ashes. She mocked him the first time he had hesitated in a kill. He'd done it, in the end the hunger overpowering the sudden onslaught of pain that the death had caused him.

That Dru had gotten worse was his only explanation for what was happening to him. Reasoning that the pain and guilt he was feeling came from the fact that he was eating when it was Dru who needed the food and energy. Spike watched her now, edging away from him in obvious disgust, and knew he'd run out of options. She never ate after kissing him, wasting away to nothing claiming that after kissing him everything tasted like ashes. She would run and talk to Ms. Edith all day and all night, spouting prophecy through insanity and desperately trying to understand stars that "Kept moving".

She needed help and he couldn't help her. He hadn't wanted to go back, even to kill Angelus, but his girl needed him. So back to Sunnydale they would go and, once they were there, Spike would let Dru drain Angelus dry if it meant she'd be ok again. It helped that the Slayer would be there. He'd face her and this time he wouldn't hold back, he'd end her and his obsession with her in one fell swoop.

* * *

"Giles." Angel watched the older man freeze in place before turning, stiffly, to him. The look in the man's eyes did not comfort him but Angel knew he had to try. Things had been taking too long and Buffy was slipping further and further from his reach. If she found out Spike was back, with Drusilla in tow, she was liable to do something stupid. So he'd made his way here, slipping in through one of the windows when the group inside hadn't been looking and waited for a chance to get the Watcher alone.

"Ah Angel, yes? Is there something I can help you with?"

Angel almost sighed with relief, "I need to talk to you, all of you."

Giles nodded stiffly, one hand coming up to push his glasses up against the bridge of his nose, "Yes, well, Buffy isn't here right now. She should be arriving within the hour if you'd like to return then?" Angel shook his head vehemently.

"No, she can't know about this." His voice was firm and Giles blinked uncomfortably but held a hand out for him to move out from behind the shelves and towards the group. Angel watched silently as Giles got the groups attention. Once everyone was settled the Watcher turned to him expectantly. Angel pushed himself forward into the space Giles had occupied not a second before. He considered them all for a moment before beginning, "A vampire named Spike is in town. You've never faced one like him before. He's vicious, ravenous and he never stops until everything in his way is burnt to the ground."

The boy, Xander, raised a hand up indulgently, " Sorry but shouldn't Buffy be here for this?" Angel frowned at the sarcasm that tinged the boy's voice but, once again, shook his head, "No. Spikes already killed two Slayers. If she goes to him he'll kill her too." That had had the desired effect. The room had gone silent and everyone was looking at each other with varying degrees of worry. Giles coughed softly, drawing Angel's attention back to him.

"If you don't mind, how is it that you know this Spike?"

Angel frowned, his eyes downcast, "Let's just say we've had a few encounters in the past. He's a sneaky bastard and if he can't kill Buffy he'll try to worm his way into her good graces until she drops her guard and then he'll bag his third Slayer." Angel ignored the twinge that his soul gave him for blatantly lying to the group. _It's for her own good! _Spike was an upfront killer he didn't operate that way. Angelus on the other hand had used his charm and good looks to lure unsuspecting victims to him. Playing with them for months pretending to care about them just to see the look of betrayal on their faces when he went for the kill.

"Why are you telling us this Angel? And not Buffy?" Willow asked, suspicion coating her voice. Angel could feel his patience thinning, "Because she's just a kid!" he ground out, wasn't that obvious? Apparently not because, one by one, he watched their eyes harden. He could feel Giles tense behind him. One of the girls stood up, her chair pushed backwards and then clattering against the floor.

"What did you just say?" The angry girl hissed at him. Her eyes flashed dangerously as she took a step towards him, "Buffy is many things but she's no kid." Willow jumped from her seat, placing a comforting hand against Amy's shoulder. She turned hard eyes on him and Angel felt control slipping.

"You have no right to say that Angel." Willows normally sweet voice was as hard as her eyes, acting as if he was some villain in a play. Didn't they understand? Spike was **dangerous** and Buffy was just a kid. She proved it every time that bastards name passed her lips in her sleep. He didn't blame her, he understood but he was older than any of them. He knew what she needed to be safe and happy. Why didn't they care about that?

"I don't normally agree with the witchy twins but they do have a point. Calling her a kid means you're calling **us** kids which we aren't." Cordelia offered blithely from her position atop the corner most table in the room, neatly filing her nails. Xander slammed a hand down against said table as he rose up, angrily walking around the table until his back was pressed between Cordelia's jean clad legs, arms crossed, hands clenching. Cordelia absently pressed a hand against his shoulder still filing away but it seemed to take the edge off his anger. He glared at Angel from across the room.

"She's no kid. She's a Hero. She's **our** Slayer and you don't get to decide shit for her understand me?"

"But-" Angel began, his voice pleading. Jesse cut him off, his voice ringing with authority and so unlike his usual carefree 'dumb' skater boy mask.

"Slayer makes the decisions Angel. She tells us when, where and why. You don't get to come here and try to treat her like a child, you don't get to ask us to do anything without asking her first. We're **hers** not **yours**."

"Not cool man." Oz agreed, head shaking in disgust.

"You useless humans!" Angel felt his control shatter, the words rushing out of him in a tremendous bellow. He felt hands on his shoulders and turned in the blink of an eye. Neither Giles nor Jenny seem fazed, though both had dropped their hands to their sides. Jenny was holding a stake loosely in one hand and Giles had a predatory grin on his face.

"I believe, Angelus, that you have overstayed your welcome." Jenny offered coolly.

"Angel." He corrected automatically.

"No, I think not old boy." Giles disagreed, staring straight into his eyes, "I think, perhaps, that Angelus never truly left."

"I'm not him." Angel hissed in disgust, eyes hooded with guilt.

"Spike?" Xander's voice broke out. Angel turned just in time to get a fist in the face. How the boy had crossed the room so quickly was less worrisome than the pain he'd inflicted. When did humans start hitting so hard? Xander slammed a knee into his stomach and Angel felt his knees give out beneath him.

"What?" Angel found himself asking stupidly. Xander grabbed the sides of his coat, pulling the vamp up on unsteady legs.

"You bastard! You're talking about the Spike Buffy told me about. Look I'm not agreeing with her choice on this one, blood-thirsty slayer-slaying vampire, but hey love is blind right? But you **knew** that didn't you." Angel blinked guiltily, not because of what he was trying to do. Killing Spike was still the best thing to do for everyone but he knew Buffy had a crush on the peroxide blond and he knew it would hurt her when he died but it was for the best.

Xander nodded his head grimly and pushed Angel away from him. Angel looked around the room, trying to find even one of them that understood. Just one that could see how much he loved her and was trying to protect her.

"You should go." The tallest boy spoke, his voice steady even as his body shook in effort to control his anger.

_Fine._ Angel straightened his shirt before striding to the exit, _they don't want to help? That's just fine. They'll never understand, kids playing at war is all they really are. Doesn't matter. I can keep her safe, even from herself._

**Synchronicity7745- I think we all hated Angel or, at least, hated some of the things he did. I pity him and I understand him but it doesn't change the fact that he's a prick. He hasn't tried to kill Spike, yet, but I hope this will suffice.**

**Seapea- Hehe Thank you ^_^ I wanted it to seem realistic to the show but at the same time I wanted to use all the resources that they always spoke about but never used. **

**KittenOfDoomage - You know I almost think he can't help himself. Not that I mind using that against him. The boy has to learn, too bad he's stubborn.**

**Redglade- It was weird they never made mention of it ever again. Even when Xander was being an ass to Spike when Xander had tried to hurt Buffy long before Spike ever came into the picture.**

**Ginar, once again, Thank you for your awesomeness. I'm sorry work was boring but Myself, and the fans i'm sure, are ecstatic at how quick you got it to me. **

**Allright everyone that's it for this chapter. Heads up for another one come next week ^_^**


	12. Attention- Authors note

Hello everyone. I know I was suppose to be updating this story but, unfortunately, I've had some uh...housing issues and haven't had a chance to get on the internet until now. As it stands I will have unreliable, if any, chances to get on the internet so, sadly, this means I will be put on temporary hiatus. I will be back, hopefully, no later than mid- Nov but I will still be writing chapters free hand so prepare for at least half a dozen chapters when I return.

Your Loyal fanfic Author

Shewholiesinshadowandlight

aka

Ryuu


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